Drunk girls get a bad rep. From being dubbed the “drunkest girl at the party” to comedians making full stand up routines around the “drunk girl voice,” we’ve all, as a generation, began to simultaneously tease the female drinker and her aptitude for shouting Rihanna songs and telling other drunk girls in the club bathroom that they “should totally be best friends!” But how can society blame us when it’s basically impossible for us not to be alcoholics in training? And here’s why:
1. Because when you’re venting to your best friends about your never ending school day, your boss who talks down to you like you’re a temp, but gives you the work load of a CEO, and the fuckboy in your phone who you’re trying to transition from low-key hitting it to high-key hitting it, you’ve just got to talk it out over a glass, or a bottle of wine.
2. When you’re actually able to squeeze social time into your schedule and your ass back into those size 3’s from sophomore year, you’ve got a limited number of activities you can partake in where you have fun while being surrounded by your peers. Have you ever been to a college bar or frat party sober? Next question, have you ever been to the fiery pits of Hell?
I imagine them to be equally comfortable.
Drinking at bars and parties helps dull the monotony of said bar or party.
And why? Because alcohol, that’s why.
3. Once you arrive to the bar/party you can only avoid eye-contact with the guy across the room for so long before he comes up and shouts in your ear over the music about his business finance major or why he’s just so glad to be in Sigma Chi. Alcohol helps easily fuel lies for men to make it through the conversation like “Wow, that’s so interesting."
4. Being able to “drink with the boys” gives you automatic street cred. And I'm not judging, we've all at one point been attracted to a guy based on his ability to run the beer pong table. Who cares if you throw up in the backyard, for a minute there you were a flip cup champion and you can stumble home with your imaginary “one-of-the-guys” achievement pins.
5. Alcohol makes operating as a single girl 1,000 times easier. Boys become cuter, that story you’ve told 3 times tonight is so much funnier and you're much more confident (than you should be) in your dance moves.
6. Three words: Ladies. Drink. Free. When you can get drunk for 10 dollars or less four nights out of the week, how are we expected to turn that down? There are deprived sober 20-something’s all over the globe. We do it for them.
7. Your 20's are the only time in life where drinking through the majority of the week is socially acceptable, and even encouraged, so why not embrace it?
And finally,
8. Coming to terms with the fact that you have to grow up soon, get a job and enter the real world makes us want to party with our friends that much more before we're old classy ladies. Which face it, we'll still bitch to each other over a very, very large glass of wine.
