Growing up, I have always been an individual who has put complete trust in others and I have always expected my friends, family members, and acquaintances to give me the respect and loyalty that I have given them. However, it is not good to expect people to treat you how you treat them, because other people's actions and deceit can be unforeseen and inevitable. Over time, I have realized how terrible it is to fully entrust people with things that are valuable to you including your wealth, your time and your companionship. It took a lot of mistakes and attempts to realize who I could and could not trust, and to what level I should actually trust somebody.
This idea that people need to open up more and trust others can actually be harmful, because trusting people too much can lead to hurt, abuse and exploitation. A lot of people who have been hurt by others in the past, find it incredibly difficult to move on and trust people in relationships further down the line. These may also be the same people who have "small friend circles." Although it is important to trust people in order to get through this thing called "life" and to manage resources through a decent amount of supporters, you also should know that it is okay to not trust people with your life. There are certain situations where you definitely should not rely on people. Here are stories about trust that can provide you with more information:
A Case of Theft
I remember when I was young and foolish. I had a 22 karat gold ring that I intended to wear every day to school. One day (in my pre-teen years) I allowed my "friend" to borrow it because she asked "politely." That ring had an incredibly bad fortune: it was never to be found again. Never allow someone to borrow your valuable item, especially when that person is a pubescent little girl who does not have any source of income. Unless there is a strong need to give something of such value to a person, even if you have known the person for an incredibly long period of time, do not allow them to take valuable items from you. There should be no need.
Unreturned Belongings/Irresponsible People
There are just some people who will not stop borrowing things from you until they are satisfied. Sometimes they take from you without asking and then do not return items to you on time for a deadline. They put your life on the line and think it is okay. Your pain can actually be a source of their entertainment. I remember allowing someone to borrow a camera and a charger from me at one point, and them not returning these things to me on time for my photography session.
The best things to do in these circumstances is to lock everything up and put them in secret locations while refusing to give. This makes you careful, not selfish. What it does do is prove how cunning and manipulative the other is. If this person is a multiple perpetrator of irresponsibility, ask them to find someone else to hoodwink.
The Plain Old Day Destroyer/Super-Villain/Maleficent Two Face
One time when attending a birthday party, I realized that I abhor clowns. After scooping up some vanilla ice cream, eating a few spoonfuls and putting it on the clown activities center, I came back only to find that the very clown that is supposed to be entertaining me and making me happy ate all of my ice cream. Never leave your belongings, drinks, or foods, in unsecured locations.
The loss of friends and significant individuals
We have all had breakups — whether it be with friends or loved ones. I remember being in primary school and having own of my old friends befriend one of my other friends, just to hatch plans against me and throw me out of the circle. That is some "Gossip Girl" worthy betrayal. Just remember to be friends with people who truly love you, and respect you the way you do them.
A loss of the sense of security
Have you ever been to a crazy rave or party with one of your friends and expected them to look out for you, when things got a little out of hand? Have you ever discussed with them the dangerous scenarios that could occur, just to have them throw it all away? Here's a solution: Bring your phone, have a guardian or someone you trust on speed dial, and get yourself out of the premises. And if that friend is in a perfect state yet refuses to take care of you — forget that friend.
A destruction of one's own success, through another's "victory"
This advice is going to get you through college and most of life: Rely on your own resources and not the resources of others. When you know you have an assignment due and you are not aware of when or how to hand in that assignment, speak to the professor or consult with multiple classmates before settling on just one individual. In group projects, there may always be a slacker; if that is your case, have a Plan B. Do your own research on their behalf and contact your professor or head of staff to make sure that your hard work is accounted for. I have also had people steal my notes and use them giving me a failing grade. Do not let this happen to you.
The Plan Destroyer
This is something that is incredibly hard to avoid because people are just so unpredictable. When you decide on making plans with someone for breakfast, lunch, dinner, the theaters, a trip to the book store, a ski resort, or even a flight — know that people will not always keep their word. This is why you should always make a list of other options, and find ways in which you can cancel tickets before it is too late.
Delivery Gone Wrong
Have you ever tried ordering food from college students or far away delivery services in the land of Middle Earth without them ever coming to you? Or have you ever ordered accessories online and had them be the wrong style of "completely broken?" Just know that in any circumstance, customer service can be terrible so do your research, and do not rely on businesses you have no information about. Groups and corporations can never be too trustworthy.
Backstabber Phenomenon
There are going to be people who hate you for no given reason. They say "bad friends stab you in the back, but good friends stab you in the front." If you have a friend who enjoys talking about you behind your back, without settling the issue with you face to face — this is not a true friend. Anyone can face criticism, but some is unnecessary and unwarranted. This is why you should only start getting comfortable with someone when you know their background and values — if these attributes do not match up with yours, there is no point in continuing the friendship. But remember — haters are motivators.
Main Takeaways: Yes, untrustworthy people exist and it is not your fault that you have trust issues. People should have trust issues. Do not be afraid to open yourself up to the prospects of meeting people whose company you can really enjoy, but do not open yourself too much. No one needs to know everything about your past, your insecurities, or where that diamond necklace is located. Only share things you are 100 percent comfortable with sharing — and with the right people. I am much wiser than I was in fifth grade and you can be, too. Sometimes it may take decades to find someone you can truly trust, but it may be worth it at the end.