If you're anything like me, you've had your fair share of relationships that just didn't quite make it. You can't help but wonder why. You put your heart out for someone who just wasn't quite worth it in the end. But you can rest assure there is someone out there for you that has these three top characteristics: priest, provider, and protector. If you grew up in the church, you've my have heard leaders saying that you need to wait for a guy who is priest, provider and a protector. If you're anything like me, you thought "What are those and what does that have to do with dating?"
Well first off, if you're a Christian woman, like me, the guy has to be a Christian. Period. And vice-versa. Not just any "Christian" either. The priest I'm referring to here is not a man who stands up and preaches on a Sunday morning. The priest I'm talking about is a guy who preaches with his life and his actions daily. His life has to line up with scripture. Is he walking with the Lord daily? Is he putting others first? Does his life at school and church match up? Does he have good character? These are all things to consider. A priest is a guy who provides spiritually for you. A priest prays for you and with you. His prays not only with and for you, but for his friends and family as well. His life is characterized by prayer. He also is active in serving. Does he serve in church, but better yet, outside of the church? Now, he doesn't necessarily have to serve in church but he does have to serve others continually with a humble attitude in reverence to God. A man who doesn't serve others, simply will not serve you. He has to attend church faithfully, not simply because you dragged him there. Better yet, does he pay attention in church? A priest is also someone who spends time in The Word. Does he open his Bible outside of church? Is he encouraging you with scriptures? Does he talk about his latest devotions or the Bible study he's doing? A priest simply will want to and be engaging in God's word with you and even without you. Lastly, a priest will talk about Jesus with you. He will be excited to tell you all about what God is doing in his life and how the Holy Spirit is working in him.
Ladies, you don't deserve anything less than a guy who's actively pursuing the Lord!
Men, be this type of guy. A good, Godly young gal is looking for someone who does just that. So strive to be men of God.
Secondly, ladies wait on a guy who's a provider. Some of you may be thinking that that's conservative and in this day and age it is no longer relevant. Well, that's the lord of all poo if you ask me. Call me old-fashioned, but I believe the guy should be the one paying. Now, when I mean paying, I don't mean for everything your little heart desires, ladies. I mean, when you go on a date, the guy should pay whether it's dinner or the movies if he is romantically pursuing you. A guy who pays for the date shows that he is interested in providing for you. Now, I know it's college and you men who are reading this are thinking "I'm broke". While that may be true to some extent, you can find other things to do for a date that cost nothing or next to nothing. Be creative! I once went on a bike ride with this guy I was dating at the time to save money. Ladies, value a guy who puts forth effort. Effort is key. A man who is not pursuing you is a man you need to kick to the curb. Ultimately, when you get married your husband should be the main provider. Dating is practice for marriage. I'm not saying you ladies can't hold down a nine to five because providing goes way beyond just money. Is he providing you with his time? Is he providing you with your basic needs? Is he providing you a listening ear? Is he providing you with a helping hand? Is he providing you with love? Money is temporary. Is he providing for your soul and well-being?
Ladies, be thankful for a man who provides and don't demand your wants if he's giving you what you need. Don't settle for a guy who doesn't provide for your needs and your soul. I promise you may think he's the only guy for you but why settle with a star when you deserve the Galaxy. Singled ladies, wait on that provider. Don't waste your time. There are guys like that out there!
Men, ladies love surprises and gifts now and then. So show affection with spoiling your girl once in a while, especially birthdays and Christmas. Strive to be that provider, not just with your money, but provide for her soul. Put forth the effort, it shows us ladies you care.
Lastly, wait on a guy who's a protector. A man who is a protector protects what is ultimately God's (which is you). Ladies, the top thing a man of God can protect is your purity. Virgin or not, a protector will protect your purity at all costs. He won't be trying to get you to all the way to the line, he will actively make sure you guys are far from it. Purity is not jus sex either. Purity starts in your heart. If his heart is in the right place, he will not try to push you to do anything you don't want. And if that's what you want, ladies, ask God to change that desire in your heart. He won't put you in compromising situations and he will be the one to break it off if things get heated. He realizes that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit and that it is not his until you guys are married. Until there's a ring, you are someone else's wife. He recognizes that. A protector also protects your heart from damage. He will actively try to not say things that will hurt you in the heat of the moment, but instead calm you down with soft, nice words. For a protector knows your heart can easily be hurt and he doesn't wish to hurt you with his words just to win a stupid fight. He protects your heart with his actions too. He won't do anything to intentionally hurt you. A protector also apologizes if wrong words were said or wrong things were done to you. A protector knows sincere apologies and forgiveness are the first steps to mend brokenness and heartache. He watches over you to make sure no one hurts you. He protects you from danger. He seeks to protect your soul and well-being because you are Christ's daughter.
There are men out there who are protectors. Don't settle for someone who doesn't look out for your best interest. Especially don't be with someone who doesn't protect your purity. Ladies, you are a prize, not a toy. Get a man who can step up and be a man worthy of your affection.
Men, you are meant to protect. So protect your woman. Find a girl who appreciates that, because most of us do. Strive to be a protector each and every day.
This isn't a long list of qualities. As I've gotten older my list of things I want in a man dwindled. Now, I am just waiting for a man with these three qualities. Believe me, all three of these things are rare to find in a man. That's why we as women tend to settle. I've done it, and don't deny it, you've probably done it too. If you haven't, congratulations, you can message me and we can talk because you're the type of woman I strive to be.
Also, ladies, in order to get that type of man, you got to be the right type of woman. A man will those three qualities wants a Godly woman with those qualities as well. So strive to have those qualities.
Love is not a feeling. Love is putting others needs above your own. In a relationship, both parties have to equally put in 110% towards the other person daily or one of them or neither of them will be happy.
I saw this on the Internet once:
"To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend of get married, a piece of biblical advice: "Ruth patiently waited for Boaz." While you are waiting for your Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives: Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheatin-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothingaz, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Wait on your Boaz, and make sure he respects Yoaz."
It's funny, but so true. Ruth was blessed by God for her patience. She didn't settle. Boaz was a priest, provider, and protector. Three simple things we forget to take into account when it comes to dating.
This is why I'm waiting to date. I'm not going to jump out at any guy who catches my eye or any guy who likes me. I intend on waiting for a priest, provider, and protector. I am a college freshman, and although it seems like finding a guy like that is impossible, I have my whole life ahead of me. I am discovering who I am and who God has called me to be. I can say that I'm not looking for my MRS. degree while I'm working toward my bachelors, although a ring before spring would be nice. I am leaving it up to God to decide whether I meet my husband in college or after or if I've already met him but God is just maturing him. My job is to strive to be the right person and to please God ultimately. I'm not worried about finding someone and I'm not actively seeking a man. Marriage is a lifelong commitment in which I want someone who values me, values the same things I do, and is in it for life and shows me that. My Heavenly Father has got that covered. But I will not settle for anything less than what I deserve in the mean time.
Ladies, you shouldn't either.
Seriously, don't settle.
I know you've heard it a thousand times. Just don't.
