After so much craziness going on in my life, I am finally having some alone time to sit down and really think about everything that has happened to me recently. From freaking out about grad school and life after college, to my increased anxiety taking over, there are only a few people who have been extremely influential in my support system.
The main person is no other than my mom. I honestly don't know how you do it. How you can handle my anxiety attacks and super negative thoughts at times. You know I am normally a happy care free person. However, the past few months have gotten rough. That is why I need you to know how much you influence my life in the most positive way. Not just the past few months, but throughout my entire life.
Thank you for...
Being there for me when I am going through difficult times
I cannot count how many times throughout junior high and high school I became so self-conscious about myself. I never felt good enough. I wanted to be liked by everyone, and we all know that cannot be the case. This was when a whole bunch of life conflicts came my way.
Being talked bad about from peers caused my depression to kick in. Me always thinking that I will never be good enough or successful is when the anxiety hit. I felt alone. I felt that I was the only high schooler who dealt with my extreme anxiety. At night I would come home and you would hear me scream as I entered my bedroom. There I was, wishing that I had a different high school experience. A different physical appearance. Altogether, a different life.
Right when my door slammed and I fell to the floor, there you were. With your words of encouragement. You would constantly tell me how I was your sweet, beautiful girl and how I had such great qualities in me. You always brought up my smile, by good academic performance, and how I was a very caring person to others. No matter what negative thing I thought about myself, you always had a positive thing to counter-argue it with.
You are the reason why I do think positively about myself now. Sure, I still have my anxiety but I got out of my depression because of you. You made me realize not to care what people think and to do what I have to do to love myself and to have a great life. For that, I cannot thank you enough.
Thank you for...
Being my most influential role-model.
You and I both know that we have went through some pretty difficult times together. Without explaining our situation, you and I just know. I remember every night wishing that everything would get back to normal. I wish that I had a more normal family life back when I was in junior high. A lot of sadness came from that time in my life. Although it was a bit rocky in the beginning, you made having a good life possible for me. You gave me a loving home and you did everything you could do support me and help me out in any way. You always pushed yourself to do your best, and you know how to fight for something you want.
Having said that, you have taught me so much about going towards what you are fighting for. You taught me that if you love something so much, then go for it. Along with that, you taught me to never give up on what you want. Even if it means going through hard times to find the goodness in life. This is why you are my role-model. You are my prime example of a successful woman who has one of the biggest hearts.
Thank you for....
Being one of my best friends
As cliche as it sounds, we are like two peas in a pod. I love that I can talk to you about anything. We always end up having endless laughs and also serious conversations. I think I call you about 20 times a week, and that proves how much I think about you and miss you while I'm at school. From us randomly going to get fast food in our jammies at midnight, to us taking day time naps, I can honestly say we are a pretty good mommy/daughter combo.
Also, after you read this call me! I miss you.
Love,
Your Daughter
