When I was in the seventh grade I was friends with a group of girls who were all sexually active, or at least they said they were. I was the only one who was a virgin and I felt like something was wrong, like I should give in and have sex with the next person who paid attention to me. Eventually I realized that it was okay that my virginity was important to me and that I shouldn't have sex just because everyone else was. Over the years, as I learned more about sex and the pros and cons that come with it, I became more confident in my choice to remain a virgin. I narrowed it down to five main reason that I continue to be a virgin.
1. I’m a role model
I have two younger sisters and many younger cousins who look up to me. I want them to understand that it is okay to wait. That sex should not be something you are peer pressured into. Let's be honest girls who have sex as teenagers are a dime a dozen but I want them to have someone to talk to on the opposite side of the spectrum.
2. Sexually Transmitted Diseases
I don't want to risk being put in a dangerous situation. Anyone could lie about having been tested and I certainly do not want to be on the receiving end of such a lie. I have enough health problems and I would rather not add to that. I’m sure most of you are thinking that you can just use a condom but I hope you are aware that condoms don't protect you from everything. HPV (human papillomavirus), Genital Herpes, Syphilis, and Crabs (Pthirus pubis) are all diseases and infections you can get while using a condom. And let's not forget the fact that a condom is not one hundred percent effective in any circumstance.
3. Pregnancy
I am nowhere near ready to bring a child into this world. There are too many things that I want to accomplish before that time comes. Like I said previously condoms are not one hundred percent effective, neither is birth control and don't even get me started on the “pull out method”.
4. I haven't found the right person yet
I want my first time to be with someone that I truly trust. Someone who I would be willing to raise a child with if birth control and condoms failed us. Someone who truly cares about me and my well being and vice versa.
5. I need to learn to love myself first
This is the most important point in my opinion because how can I expect someone to love me when I don't even love myself? I need to learn to love myself mind, body, and soul before I can share myself with someone else. I don't want my insecurities to get in the way. I want to be confident in my mental stability before I approach that level of intimacy with someone.
The reason my virginity is so important to me has nothing to do with religion and everything to do with me. I have no plans to until marriage to have sex because I feel like sex is a healthy part of a relationship that should definitely be explored before making a life commitment. I’m not saying that waiting until marriage is a bad thing or that any type of consensual sex is bad. I am just choosing to wait until the time is right for me. When I have gotten to that point in my life and I have found the right person then and only then will I be willing to have sex.
