Life is hard, and the world is a cruel place. People can face discrimination for so many things, such as gender, sexual orientation, race, social class, education, country of origin, etc. The fact that I am bisexual can affect my chances of getting a job, advancing through a company, how cohorts treat me, and make me a potential target for violence and hate crimes. With so many risks, why am I openly not straight?
I only came out to my parents this spring, so they're still trying to wrap their heads around some things. My mother recently texted me (she lives several states away) about some of her concerns, the concept of displaying my sexuality being one of the major ones. After several texts about how it was "confusing" to think that I could have attraction to both sexes and how society was trying to "convince me I was gay," she finally asked why I had to tweet, discuss, and display my sexuality. With the recent violence against the LGBTQ+ community, mainly the Orlando shooting, my mother wanted me to go back in the closet. She referenced a coworker who was gay, but hid it to avoid discrimination (my mother wasn't even supposed to know about his sexuality).
This brought me to an explanation of the concept of visibility. In a very general sense, the purpose of visibility is to make being openly queer or transgender common and normal so that stigma is removed from these people. It goes even deeper than that, though. There are so many stereotypes these days that really hurt the progression of acceptance in the LGBTQ+ community. The first one that bugs me is that all lesbians are "butch" and masculine. Gender and sexuality are two different concepts, people. I also hate how the middle sexualities like bisexuality and pansexuality are often delegitimized. We're told that we're "confused," "can't make up our minds," or "just transitioning into being gay." Yeah, sometimes a homosexual person will have a bi or pan phase to help them come to terms with their sexuality, but there are also some of us that are bi and will FOREVER BE BI, THANK YOU. By being visible, we can show that being queer is a lot more than worshiping Lady Gaga, getting undercuts, being fashionable, and listening to early 2000's pop queens (though I do all of these with pride).
With special respect to the recent tragedy in Orlando, I also want to bring up another purpose of visibility. This attack was meant to scare and scatter the LGBTQ+ population. In part, it worked. The attack happened during the weekend of Indy Pride here in Indiana. Everyone was shocked and scared that it could happen here. I even almost cancelled a date on the day of the attack because it was with a man and I didn't know if it would be safe to be seen together. I hid in my room for a long time. It finally hit me while I was scrolling through my Twitter feed that I was responding in the wrong way. Here were people screaming support for the LGBTQ+ while I was cowering. If we disappeared every time there was a hate crime against us, the attackers would win. We have to unite and be visible every time there is a tragedy to keep our community from dissolving.
My last hope for visibility is that it makes the lives of our youth easier. I wish I had known openly queer people growing up. It would've made my life a whole lot easier. Even since coming to campus, I have had closeted queer students come to me in confidence to ask questions that they'd never had the opportunity to ask anyone else before. If you're visible, you're a beacon to the LGBTQ+ of tomorrow.
In closing, I'd like to encourage people to be visible. If you're LGBTQ+, please don't hide. I can't tell you what's best or when to come out of the closet, but I also know that hiding forever won't help you. Come and join us. Our arms are open. To allies, use your voices and hold your queer friends close. You're their best support.
