I’m moving back to my hometown. I remember saying that to some of my friends at University and getting these confused facial expressions staring back at me. I can’t blame them. I was once where they are now.

I attended a community college after I graduated high school. I lived at home then, and it did feel suffocating. I was convinced that I had to move away in order to experience something truly spectacular. I even applied to New York University and got accepted. The cost held me back on that one, though. Instead, I ended up in Albany. To me, that was a big step. I would be going to school in the Capital which truly did speak for itself. My first week in, however, I was a puddle of tears and desperately wanted to return home. I ended up visiting home as much as I could. I tried to convince myself to stay in Albany. I took a part time internship over the summer and got to the current semester I am in right now and still… I miss home. I’ve realized it’s not necessarily living with my parents that I miss, I am perfectly fine living in my own apartment with this extra space to myself, it’s the environment that I miss.

Utica is where I was born and raised. The city and the towns surrounding were in a terrible economic crisis as I was growing up and believe me, even my parents were ready to leave. Now a days the community has grown. More businesses are spreading and people are coming together to make great changes, and I want to be a part of that. A lot of my friends say I would be worth so much more in a large city like Los Angeles, Hollywood, or New York City; but personally, I don’t think it’s the city that makes you, I think it’s you who makes the city.

A quote I like to go by is from Kacey Musgraves, “Same trailer, different park.” The quote means, no matter where you are, you will be experiencing essentially the same thing as you would anywhere else. The only difference is the environment. I could live in a big city, but I would be doing the same exact thing I do when I’m home, which is, go to school/work, come back home, eat, sleep, and repeat. So, if I’m going to be following this routine, which environment is it that I want to be doing this routine in?

When our parents were growing up, they had this mindset that it was okay to settle down in your hometown. There was no real push to move out of the household. In my generation, that thought has changed. When I was attending my community college they really pushed for us to transfer to a university. Now I’m attending university and they are really pushing for us to get a job in the area, or with some other large corporation. It’s almost expected now that in order to “make it”, we have to move. With that in mind, who is going to take care of our communities aside from our parents and grandparents? In a sense, we need to people to stay and to bring those large college minds back to our community to help us build again from the ground up.

The decision I made to stay through until the spring semester and finish online or at my local community college was not an easy one. In a sense, I felt as though I was failing in life. That I wasn’t “strong” enough to brush my shoulders up with the big boys. But honestly, this is what I want. My heart is in my hometown and so is my family. I can see myself progress there. That is of course what I want for now but this, this is my decision and I am not ashamed.

I think, in the end, it is okay to come back home, as long as you’re not settling. There is a difference from moving back to settling. When you settle, you are essentially giving up, but moving back after exploration is not that. You explored and now you found what it is you want, and if it is in your hometown, who cares, at least you are still trying. I think our hometowns need a little TLC anyways. So screw what the others say. Break the mold. Move back, and be happy.