I am in absolutely no rush to get married. I want to start off this article by saying that in no way shape or form am I insisting that people my age should not get married. Do what makes you happy! And if that's entering a marital relationship, go for it! However, that's just not me; and here's why.
I am relatively young. At the age of 16, I had already planned out a timeline of when I would get married, have my first child and so on. Now, at age 21, I realize that life doesn't always work according to plan, and for the most part that's what makes life so great. I have learned that these are the years of my life that I will forever cherish. I have learned to get out of my comfort zone, be spontaneous, and take a chance every now and then. Most of all, life has taught me that planning every detail out (usually) doesn't lead to the memories I'll be reminiscing about in 20 years down the road.
Every time I check Facebook, if someone isn't pregnant, they're getting married. Which, like I said earlier, is awesome! But, whenever I ask someone why, I typically don't get all that great of answers. They range from "Oh you know, we've been dating for awhile now." to "Just felt like it was the thing to do!".
I'm not sure the idea of marriage to people my age has completely wrapped around their heads. Either that, or they don't view marriage in the light of a permanent and serious vow that they will live with until they are literally dead. And that's the problem, you see. Kids my age get bored, they think it will solve their problems, or they get so caught up in envy of seeing other people posting a giant ring on social media that they eventually think marrying someone will make them happy. Besides a legal document, your life really doesn't get that much different. (I mean, besides shoveling out way too much money for a wedding that is for all the wrong reasons.)
This brings me to another point; Marriage is not intimate anymore. I am willing to bet money that if we lived in an alternate universe without social media or media in general, half as many people my age would get married. I don't want to put on a fake show and pretend a relationship is filled with happy butterflies. I don't want to proceed to upload pictures online trying so hard to depict a perfect life. People love weddings, but they don't realize what a wedding resembles and what entails afterwards. People obsess over this idea rather than the realities.
If you have not changed in the past 5 years, you're not expanding or maturing as a person and something is wrong with you. And if you don't think your significant other will be different in a few years, you have a lot to learn. If I was stuck with the decisions I made 5 years ago as a 16 year old I would be absolutely horrified. Don't get me wrong, that doesn't mean I don't love my partner in life, but why not just keep dating and doing life together as it is?
Honestly, what is the rush? We are ever-changing, embarking on new adventures, and taking on this thing called life. You have places to go, people to meet, and new experiences to embrace. You are young. Don't live your life according to a plan, take each day as it comes and take every opportunity given to you because you will not get this back. Find yourself before you commit to someone else. Figure out what your passions are, what ambitions you have for this life, and what drives you to be the person you are meant to be. Find your purpose. Then, find someone else that aligns with that path. If you break up, you weren't meant to be. That's all there is to it.
That is why, when people ask me "When are you going to finally get married?" I laugh. "Why?," I ask them. I am happy where I'm at. If I marry someone, I can guarantee you I'm going to be 120% sure I know them fully inside and out, but only after I have done that for myself. Because marriage isn't really what movies make it out to be. Life is bumpy, and you should end up with someone you know that can hang on through the ride. I don't want a cultural or religious norm to dictate which path I take. You are a whole and complete person without changing your last name. Life is an adventure, and that's why I am in no rush to get married.
