Have you ever seen someone fast-walking in a sack pretending to be hidden from everyone else outside in the streets? Probably not. The answer is simply hogwash.
Yet, in this case, I'm probably the only person being hidden under a blank screen and isolated away from crowds and crowds of human beings. I just stay hidden from the outside world and live through social media, or in this case, a state of loneliness.
This might seem absurd, but metaphors do represent our real life. In many situations, we seem to be hidden and private in our lives, even when everything is set out to be displayed in the public right in front of us. Though people nowadays seem to have their own perfect "twinkle twinkle" social lives with never-ending happiness, that's not always the case.
You can CTRL-SHIFT-N OR P, OR whatever you want, but you can't always back space.
I couldn't agree better. Although, salience in believing for a better cause may bring sunshine to my otherwise torturous days, I'm probably the only one who doesn't understand the real meaning of living life in "private vs. public."
For instance, I remain hidden and private to the outside world. Like many shy people, it's hard to be myself in front of others. I usually put on an act and try to smile and show I'm optimistic. In reality, I'm probably the most deceiving and anxious person out there.
We all tend to live in our own private world.
When I first started college, for example, it was hard to exit out of a megapixel fancy world created inside my head and enter into the real world. I felt as if my lips were sealed with a set of instructions that only reality can unzip.
I still feel like I'm in incognito mode and there is no way to get out of it.
Although I reached out to loved ones, new friends and new people at college, the feeling of acceptance just wasn't there. To an extent, I did reach out to people to become less anxious. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, it's fair to say that deep down inside, I'm just there but hidden from the entire world. I'm in incognito mode.
I find it simply frustrating that my efforts remain fruitless because of my beliefs. I just want to be the "well-liked person" among everyone else. However, it bothers me to think that I need to try harder and harder to further my relationships with people in becoming an acquaintance to a friend. If I don't make the effort, living in "incognito mode" would be the only option out of my situation.
Sometimes all I need to do is to wait for me to slowly shift past the hidden space in my life. I just need to keep on trying to be social, getting out there, and doing the best I can. In reality, I'm the only one who plays with my own feelings.
Sometimes it feels like the incognito phase is my only savior and façade.
