Before you read this, I would like to address that I obviously know that I can't just decide to be in a relationship if I wanted one. It doesn't work like that. You can't just say, "Oh, I want a boyfriend, let me go pick one out." Maybe there have been some times where I have shut people out before we could grow into anything even resembling a relationship, but there has not really been any significant or specific times where I was able to decide whether to be in a relationship or not. I am thankful that I have had no "real" opportunities to have a boyfriend, (as in, a guy asking me to be his girlfriend) because I know at the time, I would've said yes. But now, looking back on my life, I realize that being single was for the best. And now, because of learning the things I did while being single, I would be prepared, today, to be in a relationship if the "opportunity" arose.
Ever since I was little and played with my Barbie and Ken dolls, I would imagine the day when I would have my very own relationship: a perfect one, like the one I created in my dollhouse. I was excited to go on cute dates to the carnival and movies with my boyfriend, to hold hands in the hallway, and to bring him home to meet my family. Well, I've never had that, and I am so goddamn happy about it.
Yes, there have absolutely, without a doubt, been times in my life where I would think to myself (or even out loud to others) that, "Wow, I really wish I had a boyfriend." I definitely found myself thinking this when I was younger, and had no idea what I really wanted or what being in a relationship really meant. However, as I grew older, I really enjoyed being single. Some may say that I was missing out on a lot by not being in a relationship, but honestly, who cares? I know that I grew as a person more as a single person than I ever would have while in a relationship.
I believe that if I had a boyfriend at certain points in my life, I would be a completely different person than who I am now. True, I might have picked up some good qualities if I had ever been in a relationship, but I can tell you that I am sure I would not truly be "myself" today. As a (so far) always single person, I've had the ability to watch others in relationships. I've seen so many couples influencing each other on how to act, dress, and so much more, that even after the relationship is over, either one or both come out a different person. I'm glad that I went through my extremely awkward phase in middle school without a boyfriend, because I know that I would've felt pressure to act a certain way if I had been in a relationship—a way that was not true to myself. I would've tried to be more "normal" and not as weird and loud. Today, I cannot imagine myself without a somewhat obnoxious loud laugh and unique sense of humor.
As I got older, I really did not care about being in a relationship. In high school, I saw how much drama relationships created and how much time they took up. How was I supposed to balance all my time between sports, school, my friends, family, and then a boyfriend? I'm sure it would definitely be possible, but it was completely not the right route for me. I also know that as a high schooler struggling with some pretty awful anxiety, being in a relationship would've added to my stress and made me even more overwhelmed than I already was. Something would snap in me, and it would not be pretty.
Moving on, I cannot even begin to imagine what it would've been like to enter college while in a relationship. I know and have heard of many people who have a hard time making friends of the opposite gender when they begin school while in a relationship. People seem to be almost intimidated by others' boyfriends and girlfriends. They stay away, not wanting friendliness to come off as flirting. Being single, I am able to make guy friends without worrying about my boyfriend getting mad or jealous. I'm not going to talk in detail about the guys I've "been with" or have "talked to," etc., but I am lucky to say that I've met some truly funny, sweet, kind, amazing people in my time, and I know they would not have been a part of my life if I had been in a relationship.
With all that being said, I know I am now more mentally strong than I have ever been before. I know who I am as a person, and I have been able to make friends that I know will last me a lifetime. If the opportunity arose, I would not be opposed to being in a relationship. Let's just hope that this article didn't make it seem like my plan in life is to be single forever and adopt 16 cats. I am thankful for the lessons being single has taught me, and I am thankful that being single helped shape me into who I am today. But now that I am fully confident in myself and know who I am, I would label myself fully on the market. I know one day that when I do have a boyfriend, I will be glad that I am confident that he likes me for my true self.
