We’ve all had one or two of those big moments—the kind that shatters your reality, takes your life in a completely different direction and the ones that you're convinced you won't survive. They’re the situations that people say happen for a reason, or are part of a bigger plan. They’re the moments when your life just plain sucks.
I’ve had an unfortunate number of those moments in my life, and each one was worse than the last. Generally, I try not to talk about them because they’re really depressing. I won’t even go into detail in this article explaining all of the trials and tribulations of my life, because, quite frankly, you don’t need to hear them and I don’t want to tell you.
What I’m here to tell you is that eventually it does get better. I know that in the moment when you feel like you’ve lost everything, you want to punch anyone who tells you that it will get better. But, it is true. It’s taken a long time, but I can finally look back on what I used to consider the worst moments of my life and look at the good that has come out of them.
I’ve learned that I need to rely on myself rather than others to define my self-worth. Every terrible moment in my life has come from me defining myself by other peoples’ standards. When I told myself I was too young for something because that was told to me or when I looked to someone to tell me that I was good enough and valuable, I set myself up for failure. In those moments, I lived my life for other people. It’s taken a long time and I’m still learning, but these terrible moments taught me to be unapologetic and live the life that I want for myself—rather than the life others think I should have.
They’ve taught me how to find real friends. Real friends are the kind that you can call at any ungodly hour of the night and who will respond with “what flavor of ice cream should I bring?” They’re the people that no matter how many times you tell them the same exact thing, they’ll listen. They support and push you to heal yourself, rather than tear you down and leave. Thanks to those terrible moments in my life, I now have a real support system that I know will always be there for me.
These terrible moments in my life did define me. For years, they pulled me down and prevented the life I could have led. They changed the image that others had of me, and the image that I had of myself.
But, they taught me more about myself than any of my victories ever could. They’ve taught me that I am strong, resilient and deserving of love; and, these are the lessons that I choose to take from the terrible moments in my life.
