"All of these games we play, I can't even keep 'em all straight."

Luke Bryan was wise when he came up with these lyrics. Whether we play them ourselves or not, the idea of playing games in relationships is something that we're all entirely too familiar with. It can start from the very beginning with the constant worrying that if you respond too quickly or seem too available, you'll lose the interest of the other person. Every move is calculated, precise, and well thought out to maintain interest and have the upper hand. When I first learned about these games, I went along with it, thinking these games were just an unspoken rule of how people were supposed to act, and that eventually I would get the hang of it. I seemed to consistently fail at said game because I didn't see a point. I would develop a crush on someone only to have my friends tell me, "Be sure to make them chase you," or, "Don't text them back too quickly." Now, in my junior year of college, I am officially throwing in the towel and saying that I refuse to play for these few reasons.

Games mean that one person wins and the other loses

To me, the entire point of having a relationship with someone, or even just "talking" to someone, is for both people to be having fun and enjoying the other's company. The word "game" in and of itself implies that there is a winner, which also means someone loses. Who in their right mind wants to go into a new relationship with the mentality that someone is going to come out a loser? It instills a sense of competition which, personally, automatically puts me on the defense. If all I'm thinking of is the fact I have to "beat" someone, I'm definitely not going to be focused on getting to know that person or enjoying myself. Likewise, if I'm looking at another person thinking they're just trying to get the upper hand the last thing, I'm comfortable doing is letting my walls down. A stable relationship is built off of trust and forming connections -- not competition.

It's probably going to blow up in your face

I don't know about y'all, but when someone doesn't act interested in me, I assume they aren't interested. I get that the goal of these "games" is to make the other person chase you so you seem more appealing and "hard to get," but trying too hard to act not interested may actually make you appear not interested -- shocking, right? If you're acting like you don't like someone, chances are they're going to assume you don't have feelings and they're going to move on. If you like someone why pretend to feel different and risk losing them when you can spend that energy getting to know them instead?

It's manipulative

I know that starting something with someone new can be very intimidating and bring about feelings of vulnerability, but the bottom line is that's just part of dating. The idea of playing games to have control or the upper hand is just simply manipulative. Every time you purposely don't text back, break plans, or do anything for the goal of making the other person feel a certain sense of insecurity, jealousy, or vulnerability, you're manipulating them, and that's just wrong. It's also not going to get you anywhere. Making someone feel vulnerable, jealous, or insecure is only going to make it harder for them to trust you and, once again, what's a relationship without trust?

It is going to end in someone getting hurt

Obviously not every person we talk to will lead to a relationship, and not every relationship that starts will last forever. It's natural for people to get hurt and it can't always be avoided, but this hurt is going to be a lot worse and probably involve a lot more resentment if the person feels like they were toyed with. The last thing that we should want to do if we care about someone is hurt them intentionally. When you play games with someone, you're sending the message that you're not serious about them and you don't respect them. Simply put, if you play with someone's emotions, it's childish and you're probably not ready for a relationship so why not just say so? I know that I would personally have a lot more respect for someone that tells me they're not ready than I would for someone who leads me on and plays games.

I am not suggesting that instead of playing games we need to be always available, constantly waiting by our phones and ready for anything. I am, however, saying that there's a really good happy medium. Instead of acting unavailable, actually be unavailable. Don't change your life or your schedule so that you can accommodate the other person whenever it's convenient for them. Go to the gym, do homework, be with your friends, and just enjoy yourself and live your normal life -- I promise you things will fall into place. There's nothing more unappealing than someone who relies on you to make them happy and has nothing to do except wait for you to be free. You should be as happy, confident, and independent with them as you are without them because chances are that's one of the things that made you so attractive in the first place. So next time you start talking to someone, take a chance on leaving the games behind, letting your walls down, and seeing where it takes you.