Representing a sorority or a fraternity is both an amazing opportunity and a terrifying regulation check. As a member who has only been in the Greek community for almost half a year now, I sometimes catch myself in these blips of enlightenment about how I showcase myself.
Story time. I’ve always been the type of person who kept to themselves, I took responsibility for myself, and didn’t care how I appeared to the mass herd of people around me. The way I saw it was that I was simply me and what I did didn’t effect anyone else around me; I was, in my own biased opinion, an enigma. That mental reality didn’t change even after the first couple of months I joined Greek life. I was aware that I now had slightly stricter rules to regulate myself with, but it never really sunk in until I started doing what we call “Theta Thursday”—the one day of the week members of Kappa Alpha Theta collectively wear their letters.
In the beginning I was still up to my old habits; hair in a messy bun or ponytail, no makeup, and maybe a cardigan to toss over the T-shirt with my block letter on it. The problem was that I was still in the mindset of seeing myself as someone who was unaffiliated with any sort of organization, even though I was living in the chapter house and was now an active member of Kappa Alpha Theta.
It wasn’t until two weeks ago that my brain finally grasped the concept and fully accepted it as a part of who I am now. I was in my leadership class and I had been at a tabling event for our chapter about ten or fifteen minutes earlier handing out all sorts of things to help us market the chapter. I ended up taking some of the flyers we were handing out with me to my class and when the professors asked if anyone had any news to share I called attention to myself and explain that Kappa Alpha Theta was in the middle of spring recruitment.
After I finished my marketing presentation I felt so empowered and a little terrified at the same time. I felt empowered because that was the first time that I had ever owned up to being a member of the Greek community to such a large amount of people who were complete strangers to me. It was the most exhilarating feeling to know that I represented something, I belonged to something so large that I only had to say the name of it and people understood almost instantly what I was talking about.
At the same time that I felt all that exhilaration about representing something, the thought that what I said would be taken as a reliable or first impression information gave me terrible anxiety. Did I say the right things? Did it come across okay? Was I able to interest anyone or at least make them think again about Greek life? I hope I made a good impression. I hope they see Greek life in a new light. All these thoughts raced around in my head as the professors continued on with the class.
There is nothing more empowering than knowing you have something to belong to, to be proud of, and to represent. Of course, it comes at the price of always having to present yourself in the best light possible, because you never know if you’re going to be the reason someone decides something about our community. As someone who used to see themselves as an enigma, having to change the way I saw myself on campus and in my personal life was hard. Every day, I take another step towards becoming someone who can be the change in the way people see the Greek community, but I remember that I’m not alone.
When I wear my letters, I am accepting the responsibility of representing my chapter and accepting the fact that I will be held to a higher standard to preform academically, professionally, and socially. For someone who used to be—and still sometimes is—an introverted person, there is nothing harder than knowing everyone will be looking to you and expecting things from you. The thought that comforts me in my moments of self-doubt is that when I joined Greek life, I didn’t just gain a new community and a chapter full of loving sisters, I gained a support group that stay with me far beyond my years here at the university. Now that is something worth showcasing yourself for.
