Let me start this off by saying that my mom and I have a very good relationship. I enjoy hanging out with her most of the time, and she tends to give pretty good advice. I talk to her about a lot of stuff, from details about my day and school, to my friends and more. However, I do not feel the need to ask her advice on everything, nor do I tell her everything that happens in my life.
When I went to college, my mother and I developed a kind of unspoken agreement that what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. Every weekend before I go out, I call her and tell her I'm going out, and not to get worried if I don't answer later. I will call her in the morning. She tells me to be careful and have fun. This is our routine every weekend, without fail. She never presses me for more information, never asks what happened. All she really cares about is if I'm alive and well the next day. For that, I am very appreciative.
One reason I don't disclose certain details of my life to my mom is that she truly doesn't want to know. She has told me on multiple occasions that she would rather not know about my college shenanigans. My mom and I have very different personalities. When she describes herself in college, I am the exact opposite. Most likely, she would not be able to fathom the way that I choose to socialize. So, I just don't give details, and she doesn't have to get nervous. It's win-win.
I figured out a long time ago that if I go running to my mom for every problem that I have, I will never be able to function on my own. Do I ask her advice for a lot of things? Absolutely. I ask her advice every day. But there are certain things that I need to figure out for myself, and sometimes my mom cannot help me. As much as I appreciate my mom's input on certain issues, for other things I just don't want it. I want to be able to make my own decisions without have to consult my mom on everything. To me, that's just part of growing up and starting my adult life. If I include my mom on every little thing in my life, I'll never feel like my life is my own.
I love my mom, and I truly value her opinion. I don't deliberately hide things from her and I never lie to her; I just choose certain things to ask her opinion on. I talk to her multiple times a day, and I don't know what I would do without her, but I have my limit about how involved she is in certain aspects of my life. I am at the point in my life where I need to make decisions based on what I think is best for me, and I have to learn to make those decisions on my own. If my mom knows and interjects on every little thing, I will never be able to function independently.
