Fate (noun): the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.
I have never publicly written about endearment, however this matter is one that I think about often and loosely write about in a journal. I understand that this may make some of my readers roll their eyes and want to barf, especially keeping in mind the fact that I am only nineteen and I may not "know anything about love". That's okay, just know that It's not about you. I, myself, am cringing at the fact that I'm writing this and submitting it with a cheesy picture I pulled off of the internet. However, this article isn't even really about love. It's more about life. Ultimately, it is about perspective and the way we teach our children to view an often misleading subject in modern day society.
As a little girl I was unknowingly being raised to view love as prince charming coming in one day to swoop me off my feet. This idea of "the perfect guy" carried through into adulthood, which may be why I have such high standards today. Not necessarily because of my parents, but because of society. Because of the market. Because of anyone who expected little girls to wear pink and obsess over Barbie and Walt Disney movies. I had no idea that things that my life revolved around from a young age was actually making me believe that I had to be perfect and patient. I wanted to be pretty and perfect like a barbie doll, and I couldn't wait to meet my "prince charming" one day when that time was due.
For some reason the search for "prince charming" started very young for me personally. Even at age 13-14 I believed that I would find that man that I was going to marry, and boy, was I determined. I went through several relationships, starting at age 12 and going until now, and I have learned an endless amount of things from them. Above all, I have learned that the "prince charming" I have dreamt about about my whole life will never come.
Believe it or not ladies, men aren't there to kiss our asses and take care of us through everything. Our lives are not a movie or a perfect love story. I have realized that I will not meet a man with 0 flaws and who kisses the ground I walk on. However, many ladies think that there is something wrong with them when they don't have that picture perfect relationship that they may see blasted all over Tumblr and Instagram. We don't see what isn't put on the blogs or social media, so naturally we compare what we have with what we don't within what we see. I make sure to keep in mind that no relationship is a perfect one and not everything is as it seems.
One HUGE component I've missed is that I have to be my own individual before I'm capable of meeting the "man of my dreams". My parents (fortunately) always told me to never rely on a man to make me happy. However, regardless of what they said; stories, movies, and even the toys I played with as a child made me think otherwise.
In my opinion, love is more about compromise. Maybe I'm wrong; but I do not believe I will meet someone at the local coffee shop and fall madly in love with them and everything will be perfect and dandy from there on out. That is not a realistic goal women should be reaching or waiting around for. I believe that the man I marry will go much deeper than that. Someone that has the same values and perspective on things. Someone that will agree to be my partner through anything and will just kick back and enjoy life with me. One that knows times will get hard but never breaks the promise that they will not leave or betray me. That is what I've been unknowingly searching for. I don't need something extraordinary and I don't need to be treated like a princess. I do not need to be awed by his perfect charm and swept off my feet. A best friend that explores life and loves to goof off while being capable of being responsible and successful is enough or me. Along with that, I have learned the true meaning of balance. I have been cheated and walked out on and I have also been the heartbreaker and the nightmare girlfriend. One should not have more strength over the other in a relationship and the question of "who wears the pants" should not be a factor.
So ladies, if you've been through several unsuccessful relationships like I have take a step back for a minute. What is your main focus? Is "finding love" your main focus? Maybe you're searching too hard and maybe in all of the wrong places. Do you know yourself? Are you genuine? Are you where you would like to be in life currently? Stop looking so hard for the man of your dreams with perfect hair, tan skin, piercing eyes who will see beauty in you and sweep you off of your feet. I'm not saying to lower your standards... but start looking for someone (if you're ready) who fits your personality type and complements you. He will not be perfect and he will have several flaws in which you should open up your mind to. Women cannot continue to bash men for not loving all body types if we're still looking for a beautiful flawless man to pick us up for a date in his Mercedes. Be happy and content with your life and the "perfect man for you" may just come alone when you're least expecting it.
Moral of the story: I'm a headstrong hopeless romantic and an over-thinker. Can you tell?
