You lay in bed trying to ignore that pang in your chest. You ache as if you have been hit by a truck. Your eyes are heavy but your thoughts won’t let you rest. Sleeping is hard without that person lying next to you. Your mind keeps replaying all the warm and fuzzy moments you had together. Like when he would play with your hair until you fell asleep or sloppily lip sing “Whatever You Like” by T.I. to make you laugh. For some reason, the “bad” times don’t seem that significant. You reread old text messages between the two of you, swiftly swiping past the arguments and returning to the cute and mushy parts. Why can't we harp on all the bad times? That would surely make coping with a breakup easier... yet your brain chooses to screen the best times, the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Did you know the behaviors and emotions related to romantic heartbreak is similar to cocaine withdrawals? It makes us a little crazy, obsessive and depressed.

You want him to call and pretend nothing ever happened. You listen to “We Don’t Talk Anymore” on repeat by Charlie Puth and when the Selena Gomez verse begins, you violently sing it into your hairbrush microphone.

You feel like you are missing a piece of yourself without that person, like they took a piece of you with them when things ended... and maybe they did. Here is a newsflash, breakups are not the end of the world and whatever piece of you that that person took is useless to you now. Your missing pieces will grow back but stronger and better than before. Life goes on.

I’ve gone through my share of heartbreak and breakups. This is not my first rodeo. It is okay to grieve. It is okay to increase your chocolate intake. What is not okay is when you chose not to move on. After being in a relationship for three years, the thought of being on my own was horrifying. I didn’t know what I liked, what I wanted. We were young. I completely lost who I was as a person. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we conform to our partner so much that we forget what makes us, us? Love always seems like the most thrilling journey, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized that the most meaningful and epic adventure is the one with your sexy, single, independent self. Heartbreak was the worst and best thing to ever happen to me.

With heartbreak comes some of the most beautiful moments you will ever experience. After feeling completely dependent on another person, some of the most growing and fulfilling times is when you discover yourself. You will find yourself in music, writing, movies, in friends. It is thrilling to realize how big the world actually is. There are billions of other people out there, not just your ex.Your style will change. Your taste in movies and music will adhere to your own interests... not to the stuff your ex used to like.

Heartbreak pushes you to try new things. Maybe read a book? Meet new people. Hike to the top of a giant mountain. How can you know if you like something without ever trying it? Being in a long-term relationship is safe and familiar. Being on your own is freeing and a bit daunting, but that is what life should be.

Being the giant theater nerd that I am, one of my favorite quotes is Oscar Wilde's "the heart was made to be broken." This has always resonated with me, because with heartbreak comes creativity, individuality and growth. Heartbreak is an inevitable event that is essential for becoming a full and fulfilled human being. You can't truly love someone until you love yourself. So go find yourself and stand on your own for a while. Who knows what you will discover, who you will meet, or what you will become.