Having a 4.0 in college is a deception. It doesn’t show the days I went to bed at three am and woke up at five am. It doesn’t show the hours I studied every single night, or the times I cried myself to sleep because I was surrounded by stress. It doesn’t show how many times I stayed at home instead of going out with friends. Or how many social events I missed, just to keep up my grades. Or the disappointment of making a B despite that A I was desperate for; the A I was yearning for. It doesn’t show the heartbreak of the students with a 3.9 GPA, who put forth everything they had and still fell short of their goal.
It’s feeling as though you never get a break. It's as though you're constantly in a hurry and with that, comes the feeling of panic because you're drained every second of the day. It's at the end of the day that I find myself struggling to find joy in my normal hobbies because the peak of exhaustion threatens. However, my GPA is not determinate of my self-worth. It does not show how well I can play an instrument or write words that will someday change a nation. It does not show the number of animals I have rescued, nor does it echo my speech from graduation. It doesn’t show my passions or my regrets or my victories or the times I was so incredibly happy I cried. It is not a measurement of my heart and of my soul. It is not a measurement of who I am. And I am okay with that.
To the students with low GPAs: Keep in mind that you are worth all of the stars in the sky, even if your GPA is a 2.0. You deserve the entire world. Do not let yourself feel discouraged. Most importantly: Do not make amends for anyone who tells you otherwise. Do not let anyone tell you who you are. Let no one undermine you. You are not stupid. You will still succeed. You will still graduate. As my mom always says, “No job has ever asked me what my GPA was in college. They care about if I’m a hard worker.” Never forget that you deserve so much more than you realize.
To the students with high GPAs: Remember this number isn’t everything. It will not change the world or cure cancer. Though it does feel nice to have a high GPA, you must not let yourself obsess. Do not talk down to others. Do not snicker at their remarks. You were in their shoes once and therefore, are not above them. Go out every once and awhile and let yourself have fun. Aim for the balance between socializing and studying, instead of aiming for perfect grades.
The next time you see that board of ‘President’s List’ students, ask yourself if you want to lose everything you have and everything you are, just to have your name on that board. Ask yourself if it’s worth it; to lose your sanity, often times your physical health, your relationships with your friends, and even your hobbies. Let me tell you something. It’s not. If it's worth it to you and you’re happy, that’s wonderful. But in most cases it’s not, because at the end of the day, the difference between a 3.0 and a 4.0 doesn’t mean anything. It won’t cause the world to listen to what your heart and soul has to say. It won’t change the future, because only you can.
