A few years ago, I challenged a youth pastor that I strongly disliked with my biggest hesitation about Christianity. I asked him, "If God knows that all of his children are going to suffer on earth and that the majority are going to suffer even more in Hell, what's the point of any of it? Why would God create children he loves, just for the vast majority to burn eternally?" He answered with a question, "Well, do you want to have kids?" Being about 15 years old at the time, I had no clue. However, with my sassy attitude and distaste for this youth pastor, I answered with a very decisive "no" to invalidate his argument.
The implications this concept had on my ideas on Christianity were minimal; instead, the question led me to believe having children was selfish and wrong. Why do people want children of their own?
My confusion here is not with the idea of parents desiring to raise children. I certainly wouldn't conclude this act to be selfish as it seems far too challenging and costly to be a self-serving act. However, the idea of wanting to create new life is what troubles me. Is it nothing more than the biological imperative? Is it a sense of purpose one feels by creating another life through which their bloodline continues? If we're honest with ourselves about what life entails, do we really see it as best for this future child to live through the suffering that is inevitable in this world?
I've worked with children since my junior year of high school, and I love being around them. Being around children can bring so much joy, and sometimes, I find myself fantasizing about how great it could be to have children someday. However, I then remember how much a parent influences a child. Even the best of parents seem to scar their children some way or another. The responsibility a parent has for a child is terrifying and often, not taken seriously enough.
It's a cynical attitude to have, to assume that giving life to someone is a crime, that life is more pain than it's worth. Nonetheless, I can't seem to find a way to reason that having children is necessary or right. Instead, it seems that if one desires to raise a child, the ethical thing to do would be to adopt, to not bring a new life into the world but to help better an existing one.
Obviously, this comes from someone who has yet to come anywhere near making this decision. I know there must be more to having children than logic, as logic can't explain the reason so many opt to have kids of their own.
