Looking back, I don’t know how I didn’t see this coming. There was a reason I chose Houghton College. Nonetheless, coming in I didn’t expect my life to change so drastically. I thought I was just gonna be able to go to college, stay exactly the same, hold the same beliefs and be just as mature as I already was. I expected to like the same music, the same movies, and dress the same way (maybe with more pantsuits or something). I thought my faith would stay stagnant, my thoughts just as they were, my character unchanged. But there’s something about Houghton College. Just one semester here, nearly over, and already the most horrible things have happened.

I had a sufficient amount of friends coming into this place. I was tired of meeting people, I didn’t want to have to ask deep questions or be involved in anyone else’s life. I just wanted to stay average, but instead I met the most delightful of people. The atmosphere of Houghton College has tricked me into building deeper relationships than I could have ever thought possible. Those who I have met here, just a few months ago, have had the audacity to understand me better than almost anyone. Much to my dismay, I have been taught how to look past the surface and see each person for who they are at their best. I have been made to care for human beings more deeply and thoroughly than I could have ever thought possible, and been cared for in the same way. I have been blessed with the opportunity to love someone incredible, and I am appalled by this turn of events.

I was perfectly content with the music I listened to before I came here. I had one artist whom I very much enjoyed, and that was fine. I was happy. And then I get to Houghton College, and all of a sudden I am bombarded on all sides with talent. It’s sickening. Not only are people listening to new and exciting bands and artists, they themselves are creating music with depth and meaning. Everywhere I look there’s another guitar, and the person who owns it can sing and play seventeen other instruments. Some kid from a small town in the middle of nowhere can write compelling lyrics which speak to my soul, creating poetry that runs circles around my mind long after he’s stopped singing. I am no longer able to be prideful or content with my own musical ability. Regrettably, I have been inspired to improve, to work and push myself in new and creative ways and become better than I could ever have thought. I cannot believe I let myself be manipulated in this way.

To top it all off, the campus is revoltingly beautiful, especially this time of the year. If I am moved by one more sunset, if the falling snow takes my breath away one more time, I swear I’m just going to collapse in frustration.

I arrived at Houghton with very strong beliefs. Politically, morally, I was set. No need to learn anything more or broaden any perspectives. But nope, why would I get any peace? Rather than being able to contentedly look down upon anyone who did not share my beliefs, instead I was forced against my will to understand them. I had to ask questions, and learn, and grow, with patience and interest and complexity. I was bamboozled into looking at issues from more than one perspective, cheated into broadening my mind and gaining wisdom and compassion. I was forced to question things I had previously found indisputable. It was traumatizing.

And now here I am, one semester later, more patient, more wise, and far more understanding of my own faults. I have been asked for the first time to question myself in a deeper sense, to explain my reasoning and dig into my values. All this was asked of me with so much kindness and respect that it was sickening. I have been shown compassion and leadership, patience and the spirit of adventure. I am disgusted by how much I have grown as a person, and would absolutely one hundred percent never suggest this experience to anyone ever at all. Houghton College is probably the worst place on the entire planet, and I am definitely not at all grateful to have been granted this opportunity.