Sitting in the chapel for the first day of school was probably the most intimidating moment of my life, but something made it better--you. Coincidentally you sat in the wrong seat, right next to me, and introduced yourself. I went home that day to say that the only good thing that happened at school was that I had just met a really cute guy. From then on, we didn't see each other much, passing in the hallways, spotting each other from afar, nothing special. Then one day, I found myself standing in front of you while you asked me to go to homecoming, and in a blink of an eye, we were what felt like the happiest people in the world. I never thought I'd love you as much as I did, the tightest hugs, the random written love letters, the never ending days together, the vacations, the weeklong visits, everything made me visualize a future with you, an endlessly happy future. Three and a half years of laughter, smiles, and love quickly went by. Then something changed, we went to college, and I changed.

I began realizing I might not want what college forced us to become--two teenagers shoved into the modern day long distance relationship filled with nonstop texts and FaceTimes and snapchats. Running back to my dorm after class ends to answer back the phone call I missed while in class, deciding to stay in on a Friday night so I wouldn’t feel guilty about going out, spending all day texting, completely missing opportunities to immerse myself in this new school, missing chances to engage in conversations with friends. I realized it no longer felt like I had a relationship with you anymore, but that I had one with my phone.

I lost the connection somewhere in between it all. When I decided to move on I felt numb. The heartache of pulling my phone out to text you about something exciting that happened that day and remembering that I couldn't, I no longer could talk to you anymore, I no longer could call you, I no longer had my best friend.

I surprisingly quickly learned that I could live on my own. My freshman year of college is done, and I made the best friends I would have ever imagined. Friends that I knew I would have distanced myself if we were still dating in an effort to avoid jealousy, or friends I wouldn’t have been able to meet when I was so invested in our long distance relationship. After I let go of what we had, I began branching out, talking to people I hadn't before, going out with my friends more, and spending less time on my phone or daydreaming about the next time I could see you. Our four years was last week and all I could think about was how we had made plans to see each other, but I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t sad because I know that I am happy. Although four months later I'm still in love with you, I got my life back.