If you know me at all, you probably saw this and thought what? A tattoo? Lauren?

Yes, I have a tattoo. I will give you a minute to process that.

Are you going to be okay? I know what you are thinking. Why would you do that? Don't ruin your body! That's so tacky! It is going to look bad and saggy when you are old.

...Are you done? Okay, now let me tell you why I got my tattoo.

As most of you know I spent a year in the islands and it was one of the best things I have ever done! I fell in love with so many things about it I learned so much about myself and about God. Coming back was really really hard for me and I was diagnosed with a severe anxiety disorder. I struggled through some really dark nights and long periods of pain. Letting go is moving on and that can be difficult. I struggle accepting change.

I spent lots of sleepless nights sobbing and crying out to God to just help me feel better. I lost ten pounds in two months and was absolutely miserable. It was a whole new kind of experience for me. I had to learn to be okay with myself and to depend on God daily for strength because without him, I am nothing. I learned that God is always looking out for you even when you don't feel him. He doesn't just stand by and let you suffer, he is close by holding your hand, because he can't always take the pain away.

The past two years have been a huge growing experience for me and I wanted a visual reminder that God has brought me through a lot and is continuing to bring me through a lot. It is easy for me to forget and to start whining at God because my heart hurts and I want him to take my struggles away. But it is in those struggles that we grow and learn to depend on God's strength and not our own.

I got a small pineapple tattoo on my ankle as a reminder for myself. There is a saying that goes with a pineapple that is "stand tall wear a crown and be sweet on the inside." This reminds me of my favorite Bible verse: "She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future." Proverbs 31:25

I wanted to get a tattoo because it will always be there as a testimony of my life and when I have a panic attack I can see it and remember that I am truly loved and have come through so much. God continues to teach me and help me grow I just have to be willing to let him. Whenever things hurt a little we can't just give up we have to push through and lean on God and those he has put in our lives for support.

So remember, you are beautiful and you are strong. God can give you the strength to do great things in and through you!