At a young age we begin to wonder. Our interest rapidly grow and the wheels begin to turn all too quickly. Suddenly, every person around us is captured in our world of whys. One day we’re happy scribbling on a napkin and eating with our hands and the next we find ourselves needing to know everything about everything. This is simply human nature. The list of questions is endless. Why do I have to go to bed? Why do I have to go to school? Why is the sky blue? Why do I need a haircut? Why are you my mom? Why do I have to play with Sam? The answers were always simple and matter a fact. Most were usually followed by because I said so and never mentioned again, but the questions we ask later in life seem to change.
Why can’t I just stay in bed all day long? Oh yeah, there’s this thing called being an adult and that is unfortunately not optional. Why do people always say they’re going to bed, even when they’re sleeping on the sofa? Why do people use the word sofa instead of couch? Why do I do that? Why did I have to leave high school? I miss snow days and never getting fat. Why is the sky not pink, like Barbie? Why did Barbie have so many jobs and I can hardly keep one? Maybe I should be an astronaut, zoo keeping, teacher, slash princess too. Nah, too much work. Why did I not get my haircut last week before I wasted all of my money on gas and bills? Why can’t I just live with my mom? Maybe she should just move in my dorm. Why doesn’t Sam like me? Why, why, why, why? These questions are similar to our piggy tailed selves, yet there is no one there to answer, at least not aloud. So, who are we talking to? God of course.
I know that we should never ask God why, but I find myself struggling with this all too often. Obviously our whys for the big man upstairs are of much greater burden than those of the ramblings running through my mind as I wash my hair and those listed above. We question the Lord when we are confused, hurt, frightened, and alone. We even do so when Monday has not been the greatest of all time and life just seems to keep knocking us down. Recently, I can’t help, but to cry out to him and ask why. Why did I have to have all of this work done on my car when my bank account is hurting? Why are all of my final projects due on the same day, at the same time? Why can I not just get something right for once in my life? Why do bad things happen to good people?
Not too long ago, tragedy struck my little town in the worst way possible. A family was broken, their lives changed forever. On that day, a beautiful young woman was taken from our world all too soon. She was vibrant and wonderful and fearless. She carried herself with such grace and class and mesmerized each and every one of us. Though she was small, she was mighty. After spending my day in the children’s wing of a hospital that I know all too well I could not help, but ask why? Why would the Lord take such a dear friend? Why would he take such a faithful young lady from the world? How could an all loving, all mighty, and all knowing father leave an entire community devastated at the loss of such a wonderfully beautiful person? My thoughts were forged by grief and loss. My thoughts were all wrong.
As Christians we are to be believers. We should always keep faith and know that we need to do nothing, but be still. I am not perfect, this I know, but I must admit that I am ashamed of myself. All the while I was feeling sorry when I should have been rejoicing and thanking the dear Lord that I was even a small part of such an amazing legacy. I have always been afraid to wonder, but no more. Through the process of asking why one too many times I have come to peace with the loss of a dear friend. Though she is gone physically, her heart and faith are still here. In the mist of the tragedy there was a light. People were saved, lives were touched and changed forever, and in the end she was the victor. For she finally was able to go home!
I will forever miss her presence, strength, and love, but I truly believe that she is smiling down upon us knowing that the Lord’s plan has finally been complete. Through her amazing journey so many people were saved and gave their hearts to the Lord and perhaps that was God’s plan all along. The Lord is all powerful and I now truly believe that there is a reason for everything. I am sharing my story because I want people to realize that out of tragedy comes beauty. I want people to know that though we may backslide God will always help to guide you back and will never leave your side. I want people to trust in the Lord with all their heart and I want us to learn to not ask why. I want people to know that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.
In Loving Memory of Reagan Faith. A true timeless a beauty and wonderful soul. She was a small glimpse of what to expect when we get to Heaven, an angel walking amongst us. Fly high sweet girl.
