When I graduated high school, I knew exactly which university I wanted to attend. It was expected that I would attend a larger university, and I had no problem adhering to that expectation I felt from my peers. I even had the school picked out by my sophomore year of high school; there was never any doubt in my mind. I was already familiar with the campus from band camps the university hosted for middle and high school kids, and I had already been accepted into the band program. Meeting new people and making new friends would not be a problem.
Being in that college band was an incredible experience I wouldn’t trade for the world, but it was one of only a few things I liked about the school. I moved almost two hours away to a college that, despite being one of the larger schools in my state, none of my old friends attended with me. I knew no one from high school.
As someone who is the definition of introverted and had little interest in parties or drinking, once band was over, I had next to no one to talk to or spend time with. During band, I had no shortage of people to spend time with, but outside of it, we never spoke. I’m one of those people who has a million acquaintances and friends, but very few close relationships. I felt isolated when marching season was over.
I also struggled with roommates. My first one was the perfect roommate in my opinion, but the last one preferred to act like I didn’t exist and had no problem being on the phone in the dorm room in the middle of the night when she knew I had to be up extremely early the next morning. When I complained, I was seen as the one who was being unreasonable. My RA didn’t do much to help except to suggest I switch dorms at the end of the semester.
I took her advice a little further – I switched schools instead.
It was a great decision for me. I went from no social life or having any support to being surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me. I went from classes where the professor never even noticed if I wasn’t there to classes where my professor knew my name. I didn’t have to wait a week or more just to talk to my advisor. Class schedules were more flexible and I was able to work full-time while still going to school full-time.
Being a nameless face at a large school was miserable for me. While I loved being in band and I miss it dearly, it did not do enough to balance out the negative experiences. I felt like I was going through the motions, but transferring to a smaller school actually opened doors for me that never would have opened otherwise. Don’t underestimate the power of having a support system. I learned a lot by going away to a large university, but I learned even more by transferring to a smaller one.
