Divorce is a controversial topic many are uncomfortable discussing, and for good reason. Divorce is often seen as unconventional, disrespectful to the family or sometimes even unethical. Despite the negative connotation that surrounds the concept of divorce, I’ve learned to appreciate the separation of my parents for many reasons. This is not to say that divorce is always a good choice, for every family varies and what’s best for one may not be the same as what’s best for another. However, in my specific instance, I think that my parents getting a divorce was the right decision and was ultimately beneficial for a number of reasons.
First off, and most importantly, when my parents got a divorce, they allowed themselves to pursue their individual happiness. From a young age, I could tell that the trajectory of my parent's lives were headed in two different directions, but were strained and restricted for so long for the sake of holding the family together. As I mentioned before, every family is different, and it is often the case that individual differences are indistinct enough to call for a compromise and don’t result in a divorce, which is perfectly fine and wonderful, but that wasn’t the case for my parents.
My parents' unhappiness was evident for several years, and after going through therapy and other countless routes, their marriage still wasn’t working out. It got to the point where their unhappiness was no longer worth a formal union, and as a young adult, I understand that separation was the best thing that they could do not only for themselves but for each other.
By accepting the incompatibility that their relationship eventually developed as they matured throughout adulthood, they were able to overcome their differences and come to a mutual understanding that they wanted different things out of their lives, and that was okay. In the end, this allowed each of them to pursue the lifestyle they wanted while still maintaining a long-term friendship and a strong connection to both me and my brother. The family wasn’t broken up but simply united through a different structure.
Another reason why I’m glad my parents got a divorce is that I’ve been able to learn more than I could have ever imagined from it. Not only have I learned about compromise and communication, but I’ve also learned so much about my mom and dad that I might not have before. Once I stopped perceiving my mom and dad as one parental unit, I started to notice the two very different people behind the titles I once gave them.
This helped me learn, grow and see things from a different perspective. By getting more insight into my parents' individual lives, I was influenced by two different ends of a spectrum that have helped me balance out my own decisions and outlook on life today. While both my mom and dad have had a strong influence on me, they offer different outlooks.
For instance, my dad has always been an anchor, reminding me of reality and the logical way in which everything functions. He’s the reason I’ve developed such a diligent work ethic, and why I now budget ahead of time for every purchase I make. He has served as a tactical, logical and calculated role model for me, and has taught me that it’s important to pursuit my goals with vigor and persistence.
My mom, on the other hand, has taught me how to live life like there’s no tomorrow. She’s the reason I can balance out the slightly work-a-holic side of me and put aside reservations and anxiety to live in the moment. She’s the reason I can let loose every once and a while and remind myself to take a step back and realize that without passion, life wouldn’t be worth living.
There are many more reasons why I’m glad my parents decided to get a divorce, (and I should mention that they are both in happy relationships now) but these are the ones I’m reminded of on an almost daily basis and happen to be the most prominent. Even though it may not be the best decision for a lot of families, it was for mine, and I don’t regret it happening at all.
