Last week, I introduced an article discussing all of the strange things that have happened to me while playing the Tinder game. However, even more bizarre and noteworthy things have occurred on the app after I published it, so I decided to write you guys a sequel. Once I exposed all of the weird and creepy pick-up lines these men were sending me, I figured it would only be right to put a disclaimer in my Tinder bio so they would at least know what they were getting themselves into by interacting with me. It reads: I write articles about the weird shit boys say to me on Tinder. Keep reading to find out how they reacted…

In the beginning, I didn’t think anyone would notice my bio at all, let alone consider that it could actually be a direct explanation of the reason I use the app. Things were normal at first – pictures were popping up of men with pigeons on their head, men with gold chains, men kissing their grandmas, men climbing wire fences, men in snowflake costumes, men posing in life size mangers with Jesus, and men who set their profile pictures as a group of semi-good looking people in an attempt to disguise the fact that they’re actually the ugliest one. Boys kept sending me the bizarre pick-up lines, like my two dads would go straight for you and I love you and I’ve never wanted to suck anyone’s blood until now, but that isn’t me asking and well since we’ve established we both like each other, let's push this a little further… so you have me, Bill Clinton, and the old guy from the Dos Equis commercial, now you have to pick one to marry and one to kill and the other to, you know. Go! Like I said in my last post, I literally couldn’t make these things up if I tried.

But then, people began to message me to ask me about my bio rather than to ask me ‘what I was up to later tonight (wink).’ None of them thought I was serious. The first boy said:

Wait, you don’t really write about people on here, do you?

I responded with the link and said see for yourself. He responded “wow” and promptly deleted me. He wasn’t much to look at, anyway.

After this first message, the rest came rolling in, most of them asking me the same question. A few others had some more creative things to say:

That bio is pure savagery. Intimidating.

Thanks, that’s what I was going for. When I responded with the link, he told me he liked the pick-up line about sending my picture to Santa. Hopefully, he understood the message of the post and refrains from using it if he’s legitimately looking for love.

Where can I read these articles about the weird things people say to you?

Something makes me think that this boy assumed I wouldn’t have a link to send him. Happy reading, Quinn.

Do you actually write articles? Cause I could provide you with a whole lot of substance for those.

No, thank you, I think I’m all set.

Yeah but do people actually read your articles (wink) LOL just kidding I’m sure many people do!

Um, I’m not sure if that was a compliment or what. I asked him if he’d like me to send him a screenshot of my Stats page. He said so I guess that means I got your number already (wink). Nice try, Michael. But absolutely not.

Haha your bio. That must be a long ass article!

Oh, believe me, Chad – it could’ve been much longer if I had included more of the inappropriate messages, but I’m trying to keep the piece somewhat PG-13. When I sent the link, he responded hahaha OMG this is amazing, that is legit awesome. Thanks, glad you enjoyed it; hope you don’t mind that I used your real name!

Is that like your main job? The Tinder thing?

Now, that would be cool, wouldn’t it?

Please share the weirdest things from your articles. What are the top three?

I responded with the link, as I always did, and he said not gonna lie, I was expecting a little more bizarre. Although pictures of men strangling baby chicks is highly questionable. Yeah, I felt the same way. When this boy messaged me, I was already planning on writing a sequel, so I answered wait til I update it. What he said next was my favorite thing I’ve read while playing the Tinder game:

Is it wrong feeling objectified knowing I’m just a shiny new product in a window that you have no intention of buying? Or do you just think I’m out of your price range?

This shows that he not only has great reading comprehension skills but that he also has a good sense of humor. He said he read more of my author page and that he was impressed by my triple major. Maybe he’ll become a loyal reader. Or my husband. Either one. Anyway, I answered oh, that is so going on my blog. He then said I’m truly honored, I mean I came up with something blog worthy before 9 a.m., maybe I should be proud. Yes, Ben, you should be. That was a great picture of you with your guitar. Thanks for playing the Tinder game.

Well, that was fun. Time to delete the app for another couple years.