Every girl wants big breasts. Big breasts, perky, with nice cleavage. Every girl's dream is a D-cup, right? Why wouldn't a girl want big boobs to fill out her body?

Well, what isn't advertised with having a big, flashy chest is a lot of downsides. Back, shoulder, and neck pain, bras that just won't fit, clothing straps digging into your shoulders to create a permanent groove, an inability to exercise, breast pain, and having a very selective wardrobe. That's only what I can think of off the top of my head. Coming from a girl that formerly had a DDD+ sized chest, I can fully attest to all of this.

All through high school, as I--and my breasts--grew, I struggled. I had probably one of the biggest chests in my entire high school (and my high school had 2,000+ students) and it was weird. I was uncomfortable, physically and mentally.

I lived in high-necked tops and sweatshirts, trying to hide. Because, God forbid, if I wore something that remotely exposed my chest, I would walk through a school day and it was like I didn't have eyes. All gazes went straight down to below my neck. I didn't like being viewed in a sexual way like that at the age of fifteen.

Another problem was the pain I faced, which only worsened as I began college. I had a constant, nagging ache on the left side of my back. It never went away. One time, the pain in my back had gotten so bad, I physically couldn't get out of bed. My chest was so large, that I had almost a slump in my back. I felt like the hunchback of Notre Dame, all the time.

Every day, when I undressed to shower, I had deep red grooves in my shoulders from my bra straps. Not to mention, I spent ridiculous amounts of money on specialty bras--and even then, they didn't fit right. I couldn't wear half of the clothes that I wanted to, and coming from a fashion lover, it was torture.

The size of my chest made me hate my body. Hate, hate, hate it. I was so top-heavy, I felt fat. I couldn't wear swimsuits. Every time I heard from a fellow girlfriend, "oh my gosh, I wish I had boobs like yours!" I wanted to cry.

When I first started musing over the idea for a solution and came up with a breast reduction surgery, I didn't quite know where to begin. So I did what anyone in this age would do: I googled it. And I came across www.realself.com which was not only helpful, but later on recommended by my doctor. It's a website where people can post pre and post operation photos, share their experiences, and recommend doctors and facilities. Poring over other people's results and what they had gone through eased my worries and made me feel less alone. Plus, Iearned a lot--which made me feel ready to take the first step in this process.

For the first time in forever, on March 30th, I had hope. This was the day I had a consult with a plastic surgeon, for a breast reduction surgery. And I, more than anyone, had my doubts. Plastic surgery? I'm only nineteen. Isn't that what people turn to in their mid-life crises? And a surgery? I knew this wasn't something like getting my tonsils out. This was a major procedure. I was scared, so scared, but hopeful. Maybe, just maybe, I had a chance at living without pain.

After my long consult with my doctor, my brain felt full and I felt excited. I can honestly say, after my doctor examined me, told me every risk factor, explained the procedure in detail, I had no questions.

He had explained everything so thoroughly and honestly, so much so that I trusted him from the first day I met him. I remember him telling me, "I do a lot of surgeries to make people happy. Butt lifts, breast augmentations. But I like breast reductions the most, I think, because not only am I making you happy, but I get to take your pain away." I remember tearing up when he said that. Until that moment, I truly believed this was something I had to deal with forever. But soon enough, I had a surgery date set for May 10th.

I was scared. But more than that, I was excited. I remember my excitement overshadowing my nerves, even as I walked in that Wednesday morning for surgery. Even as I was put into a dressing gown and hair net, and my chest was marked before I was sent into the operating room. I was excited.

Surgery wasn't a walk in the park; though I didn't expect it to be. When I woke up hours later, everything was hazy and my body ached (they removed over two pounds of tissue--yikes). But I was aware of something almost immediately: my back didn't ache. The constant pain I had in the left side of my back was gone. I had been awake with my new chest for only minutes, but it was gone. And again, I wanted to cry.

Recovering wasn't a walk in the park either. I could hardly walk. I was exhausted all the time, even after laying on the couch all day. I had black and blue bruises covering the undersides of my breasts, and extending to my ribs. My incision sites were tender, swollen, and aching constantly.

I needed my mother to help me bathe. Eating was even difficult. My pain medication made me nauseous and my anti-nausea medication gave me a migraine. So, from the first day, I took Tylenol Extra Strength instead of the hydrocodone I was prescribed. I slept and I slept, but was woken up in waves of pain coursing through my chest.

But even through all the pain of recovering, all the follow-up doctors appointments, all the medications, all the bandage changes and burning aches that hit me like a ton of bricks, I woke up every morning with a smile on my face.

I wasn't held down anymore. I didn't have a constant pain in my back anymore. I was finally going to be able wear clothes I wanted, and have conversations with people without their gaze falling to my breasts. I could still have nicely shaped and sized breasts. The sizable scars didn't even bother me, and they still don't.

Now, I'm almost three months post-op and I'm happier than ever. I can wear clothes that I want. I have bras that fit me for the first time in years. I'm pain free. And I have a confidence that I never had. I cannot describe how pure and freeing it feels to finally feel comfortable in my own body.

It's something that I've yearned for for so long. Getting a breast reduction surgery was beyond scary, but it was by far the best thing I have ever done. It fixed me in more ways than one.