“I can’t wait to leave my hometown and make all new friends.”
We have ALL said it (or at least thought it) before. At the end of high school, we were so over the petty drama that had been trailing behind us for the past four years. We were tired of hearing about that one couple’s weekly break-ups. We were tired of secret house parties in the basement.
So, college seemed like our big break. This was our time to shine, take cute instagram pics with all our new friends, have fun every single night, meet our bridesmaids, and #OMG we will be BEST OF FRIENDS.
Think again.
Plain and simple: college is HARD. We all know that. Sometimes, though, it isn’t just the academics that can be challenging but friendships.
We've seen it before. A group of girls grouped together like a pack, so you think they will be friends forever. But then, just like that STIIIIIRIKE, she’s outta here…one girl gets the boot. We think "how could they ever do that to her??" and "I thought they were best friends."
Here are some reasons why these things happen (and why it's okay):
1. We just met. We put all of our trust in girls that we met just a few months ago. This is so hard because we want to find our best friends, but then again, how can we ever really expect these friendships to be deep within the first few months? There aren’t 18 preceding years of friendship tying us to the girls in college, so to some, it is easy (or necessary) just to walk out.
2. They just don’t know. Again, we just met these girls, only weeks or months ago. They don’t know about all the BS that makes us all a little crazy. Sometimes, this BS is what makes us who we are, but because people don’t know about it, it is hard for them to understand how we tick.
3. We don’t want to share. College is supposed to be our ‘fresh start’, so no one wants to openly share the details of their parents’ divorce or maybe why they don’t even know one of their parents. No one wants to explain the things in their life that make them look weak or inferior.
4. There’s so many. It’s like going into a wine store blindfolded and being asked to choose your favorite wine without tasting or trying. I mean, you just CAN’T do it! There are so many girls from different places with different interests and stories. There’s just too many potential #BFF’s to choose from. Sometimes you have to look around to find the girls you mesh with well, and that is perfectly fine.
5. Boys. TBH, we all hate this, sweat it won't happen, but somehow, they end up wrecking friendships EVERY SINGLE TIME. It seems like we would learn, but guess what? We don’t. Time and time again perfectly good friendships are ruined because a girl gets jealous or wants to be wanted.
6. Sororities. Let’s be honest, they can be cruel and demanding. When your friends are in different sororities, you are forced to keep secrets from them and listen to sorority gossip. Two or three greek letters begin to wiggle their way in between friendships and BAM, you’re rivals.
7. My mom taught me not to talk to strangers. But really. When I get around new people, I freeze and forget how to speak. People probably think: "dude is that girl okay?" I like to call it the "I promise I’m fun once you get to know me" plague.
8. This thing called LIFE. Am I the only one that feels like I’m in a serious relationship with coffee and my bed? College life is SO busy that sometimes we forget to make time for our friends. New friendships like the ones in college need to be nurtured, but sometimes life gets to be just TOO much.
To all of you girls out there that have felt this struggle or might be facing this battle in the fall of your freshman year, do not be discouraged. This is a perfectly normal aspect of college life, and trust me, your #BFF’s are out there. Once you find your forever friends, hold on tight and never let go.
Just remember...
open up, smile, have empathy, and always, always, always BE YOURSELF because you are beautiful inside and out.
