I remember freshman year high school orientation like it was yesterday. So many new faces, so many questions, so many emotions. So many powerpoints! But one thing sticks out. A rising senior, who was student government president, made a speech. She talked about getting involved (still applies), the importance of taking your work seriously (definitely still applies), and how the next four years would be the best four years of your life (questionable).
When I graduated from that same high school four years later, I headed off to an out-of-state private college about four hours away without traffic. I sat in a similar summer orientation, but this one was on steroids. Tours, speeches, and powerpoints galore every single day. A sea of faces where I knew no one but my cousin. I had so many questions I should’ve carried around a notebook with me. And emotions — well I do want you to read this, right?
But in all honesty, emotions are what I’m going to talk about. Because we are so quick to talk about happy emotions — excitement, adventure, happiness, joy, love. And while freshman year will be all of those things for you, it is more than that. Sometimes it’s the opposite. And for some people like me, it’s the opposite more often than not: anxiety, homesickness, fear, uncertainty, and confusion. Because as I sat in a much larger auditorium, with a much larger crowd, I was told the same exact thing as four years prior, “This will be the best four years of your life.” And I was puzzled. I thought, But mine just happened?
For some people, high school held the glory days. For some people, it's college. And for some people, it’s neither! We all have peaks and valleys in our lives where we go through a couple of hard years, then a couple of golden ones. But by going away to school I've noticed the immense pressure there is to have those years be every year, especially your freshman year. With the façade of social media becoming increasingly powerful, we are made to believe everyone is having the best time of their life.
While I was away at school, too homesick to even call home, I looked on my friends' Instagram and Facebook pages and felt even worse. Photos of nights out and shared articles titled “17 Reasons Your Freshman Friends Will Be Your Bridesmaids” made me feel bad. I kept thinking I could be at the wrong school. I thought I screwed up and that I should’ve known better. I should’ve known a homebody like me wasn’t fit to dorm away. Not states away, not hours away.
But going home at times wasn’t as comforting as I dreamt it would be. I was a visitor in my own house which was a funny feeling. I was reserved in my comments about school, and my anticipated stories of success were few and far between. My grades were what I considered subpar, and my extracurricular and athletic achievements were nonexistent.
When second semester rolled around I gave school another go. I immersed myself in my classwork and did my best to meet new people. It’s so easy to think the people you first meet at school will automatically be your best friends. But that’s because you don’t know anyone else! Take your time. Explore, and meet new people. Keeping to my high school advice, I got more involved and reaped the benefits. My grades improved drastically and I was much happier.
During second semester, I learned lessons I will never forget.
Everything takes time.
Whether you go to school on the other side of the country or a few minutes up the road, it’s still a major change. You’re no longer in the comfortable rhythm of high school. Everything has changed — peers, expectations, and responsibility. Even the littlest thing like the kind of food you’re eating or the sleep you’re getting affects you.
Make yourself happy.
As you embark on your years in school, it is easy to get caught up in career plans, graduate school, athletics, GPAs, and the like. It is especially easy to get caught up in other people’s ideas of what these things should look like for you. But in the end, if you’re not happy with it then does it matter? In high school, being happy came easily. In college, I had to figure out what that meant. Figure out what that means for you before you make any other decisions.
Keep an open mind.
Don’t shut out anything until you’ve given it a fair try or two. This goes for a school, friends, a class, a club — anything. Going back second semester I had a goal to enjoy school. Now I know I am at the perfect college for me. Some people end up transferring, and that is totally fine! But don’t pursue transferring schools or quitting on anything before you can really say you’ve given it a shot.
On top of all this, I learned the importance of Ben & Jerry’s late at night, the art of lunch-tray sledding, and the true value of care packages. What can I say other than tuition dollars at work!
Best of luck in your freshman year. Remember, if you are having a hard time at first, you’re not alone. Most people are too embarrassed to talk about it, and it does get better! Everyone takes time to adjust. Even if the first year isn’t your best, you still have three more. Get get 'em.
