This semester has honestly been a train wreck, for me and others. Now, it’s finals week, and it serves as nothing more than a reminder of how close, but yet so far, the year is from ending.

Here are the reasons why finals have made me so done:

1. The Paper and Test Combo

If anyone has had this happen to them, I am so sorry. Usually, a professor decides to either give you a final exam, or a final paper due by the day the final is scheduled to happen. Then, there is this special breed of professor that assumes that their class is the only one to prepare for, so they assign both a final paper due on the exam day, and then an exam you take after you turn in the paper. The betrayal one feels in this moment cannot be explained in words conducive to online publishing.

2. The Random Test

Have you ever been in a class where you don’t have a single test the entire year, just writing papers, and then you have a final exam? I have, and it is not so much anger as much as confusion that I feel. This whole semester, some friends and I have had these classes where all we have done is write four papers about some broad topics about which no one cares. Then, our professors scheduled an exam composed of four essays on broad topics about which no one cares. Why?

3. The Waiting Period

I hate it when you have one exam on the very first day of the exam period, and one exam on the very last day. I would sincerely appreciate the opportunity to simply take them and have them completed as soon as possible. Now, there is this awkward space in between that is completely unnecessary, and the school year is prolonged for absolutely no reason.

4. The Need (Want) to Party

I want to celebrate the end of the year, but I cannot because I need to ensure I successfully pass this philosophy test that determines the course of my college career, future, and the fate of my unborn children.

5. The Slow Pace

Because of the schedule changes during finals week, the pace of the days are much slower. There aren’t any classes. As a result, sometimes we are left in this limbo of nothing to do except for either studying or watching the next episode of How to Get Away With Murder. If this pace was developed to facilitate the desire to study in order to pass the time, then university administration obviously has not seen How to Get Away With Murder.

6. The Sore Fingers

I know I’ve gotten used to typing notes, but I hate writing short answers and essays on my final exams. I think professors find it funny when they read our illegible, non-cohesive sentences scratched across the tear-stained lined pages of our blue books.

7. The Blue Book Nightmare

Speaking of blue books, of course we haven’t paid enough money in tuition to acquire the tools to succeed. Instead, we have to by a special book, that has special paper, as if the special paper is going to make our writing any less rushed and terrible. For one of my exams, I forgot my blue book, so I bought seven on impulse because I knew I was living in a nightmare.

8. The Elusive Notes

I try to take notes in class, I promise. However, there is always one section that I always manage to miss, and it is always the most important one.

9. The Professor Evaluations

At the end of the semester, it is time for professor evaluations. The evaluations are always given conveniently right before the final exam, so we can’t judge the professor based upon the ludicrous questions asked of us on the tests. We also cannot critique them based upon the useless papers, or the mediocre presentations. Clever.

10. Carb Intake

My carb intake increases during finals preparation. One week I went on a juice cleanse and felt so energized, and then during finals week I was eating pizza and thai food in order to fill the empty hole I used to call my brain.

11. The Sleep Demon

I have this theory that every hour of sleep we lose during the semester is mixed together in this vat to create the sleep demon, which gets more powerful by each hour of sleep that we sacrifice. Just before finals begin, the sleep demon catches up to us and rapidly replaces those hours, which turns my productive day of studying and working into a day during which I am obstructed from leaving my bed.

Well, that’s it. Good luck everyone!