The fear of missing out, or FOMO as it has recently been named, is messing with my happiness. I don’t like to party. I know college weekends are supposed to be filled with drunken nights and crazy dancing but I just didn’t like the party.

Trust me I gave my 100% to trying to have the best time. I was discouraged that all my friends were enjoying themselves and I wasn’t. I was hot, tired and didn’t like the music. After we got home all the girls were laughing about how much fun they had and I didn’t want to break it to everyone that I didn’t enjoy myself.

Major FOMO hits me whenever my friends talk about parties. I don’t know how it feels to be hungover and I wasn’t there when they all went out for pizza after the party. If I were to mention this FOMO to them they would be like “well girl then come with us!” .

But the weird thing is I don’t want to. I feel pressure to want to spend each weekend drinking in frat basements just because its college. Regardless of how much I didn’t enjoy I still get sad when my friends are getting ready for a party I’m not going to or when they are all exhausted all day from staying out all night.

I know this sounds weird. Like I can’t have it both ways. I can’t be both at the party and not at the party. But you know what I’m starting to realize my FOMO has nothing to do with the actual party it’s all about comparison.

In college, it’s hard not to compare myself to everyone around me. Be it how much they study, how fit they are, or how much they party. People are everywhere and it is easy to feel the need to keep up. But I don’t need too anymore. I’m me.

I’m me and me is someone who would rather spend two hours on the phone with my best laughing with my friends from high school. Or going snow skiing for the first time. Or making a mess in the kitchen. Looking back on my first semester of college I made so many great memories already. I’ve met some wonderful people and I’ve done some really fun things.

I’m part of organizations that make me feel like I’m making an impact in the world. I’m not saying I have cured my FOMO and am 100% content now and will never compare myself to others again. Because that’s not true. But as Theodore Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy”. It is time to focus on me and all of the wonderful people around me. Who cares if I don’t like partying, that won’t ruin my college experience.