At some point, everybody finds themselves alone with their thoughts. You might wonder exactly what step to make next in order to save yourself from failure in the future, or to save your children/future children from any form of failure. Just like anyone else, a few nights ago I found myself awake late at night with butterflies in my stomach because go figure, I can’t predict the future, and it hit me like a brick wall that it is absolutely impossible to save myself from all forms of failure that could maybe-possibly-one-day-but-probably-not come my way. My brain is 100% driven by anxiety, and if it does’t have something to focus on and try to perfect, I’m constantly worried about my future. In a panic, I reflected on my past. This, for me, is never a good idea. I am the type to dwell. But in this case, thinking about my past gave me a whole new perspective on how to view my future. Why fear failure, when in the past, it has ultimately rewarded me with growth and the gift of learning?
Think about it. The classic idea of wanting to learn a two-wheeler. We are all so afraid of falling off- of failing- because thats what falling off is, right? But that is what teaches us how to keep our balance. We all have to start somewhere. If I hadn’t have fallen off that bike and gotten gravel stuck in my knees three or four times, there is no way I ever would have learned. Or even mustered up the courage to learn. It is every fall that I had to learn to toughen out in the process of learning that helped me not fear every other fall I took in the future. I’m glad my little failures happened, otherwise I would have never succeeded.
I think as people, we so badly fear being judged, that we place this huge burden on ourselves to constantly be perfect. We should always strive to be the best that we can be, but with discretion. It is hard to see past our failures in the moment. I get that. I dwell on every single mistake I make at times. But when I get back up to perform whatever task I messed up again, I know what I have to do differently. This is a practice in building confidence. This is a practice in teaching ourselves that failure does not exist. It really doesn’t. Its something that exists in the moment, and may last a little while. But failure is not all bad. You learn so much from it. You learn about yourself, about change, about what you need to do in order to keep yourself above the water.
We fear failure because we are human. We want to believe that we are preprogrammed with every source of information we need, and that we are better than every other human in existence. But this is not the case. We often cannot see the growth that failure brings. We don’t see the learning opportunity. Have an open mind. Don’t fear future failures… build from them.
