As a human, sinful, female I am expected to enjoy watching a “love story” that features an attractive male star and focuses on what our world sees as sensual goals. I even at times feel the pressure to just join in on the trend. However, here are just a few of the reasons why I will not be reading, watching, or supporting anything to do with the Fifty Shades trademark.
1. I know what love is and that’s not it.
The love I pray for is a God-centered, God-designed, God-glorifying love. It is selfless, patient, and precious. Love is rooted in my relationship with God that is then shared with a man who is also pursuing Him. God gives me a love so pure and powerful that it is by far my standard; the only other love I can accept is from a man who is first and foremost devoted to the Father. Pure love does not focus on the physical pleasures or exotic sensations. Love is not a public display or a choreographed scene. Love does not fit into a category of “relationship goals” or fit any standard set by the world. Love is a pursuit that pushes that person in their walk with Christ. I don’t see true love in a relationship that is centered around pornography, dominance, and lust. There is much better love destined for us. Love is promised to me by my Father; I couldn't possibly pervert what He so perfectly created.
2. I have respect for my future husband.
Whether you are awaiting marriage or living happily ever after, you must respect your spouse. And if you do, you couldn’t shamelessly indulge in something that is so sexually focused on someone else. Picture this: how would you feel if your spouse watched it with you? That would be SO awkward! I would be devastated! The love and respect I have for my future husband far surpasses any desire to watch something that exposes what is meant to be intimate and precious. Our love is something so special that I could never compromise it, especially for a thing so trivial.
3. It is not spiritually healthy to expose yourself to these things.
Philippians 4:8 says it all: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” There are no exceptions to that. Once you put those into your mind it will not go away; you will continue to struggle with those thoughts and temptations. It is poison to your heart, mind, and soul.
4. I don’t want to be a stumbling block to another believer.
We are commanded as brothers and sisters in Christ to hold each other accountable and lift each other up. So how would someone react if they saw me indulging in something so grotesquely explicit? They could either call me out, which would be really embarrassing and humbling, or worse: they might think it’s okay. That is not discipleship or love for my fellow believer, that is deceiving them into the ways of the world. I see so many of my sisters falling into this trap and it is absolutely mortifying to witness it.
5. I will not submit myself to pornography.
Because that’s what it is. It’s not a love story, or a drama, or just an innocent kissing scene. Fifty Shades is an entire business built on the disease that is pornography. It feeds of our human desires and weaknesses. Pornography is like an addiction that attaches to your mind and feeds you lustful thoughts. It skews your heart for what you perceive is love and creates a barrier between you and what is holy. It disgraces what God has designed for us and turns you from what is pure. It is enslavement to sexual desires. And when you finally become convicted and pray to be rescued from it, it will be incredibly difficult and you will consistently struggle with its “withdrawals”.
6. Sex was not designed to be displayed.
Yep I said the word, because sex isn’t a bad thing. God created sex for us. We are designed to have a deep-rooted relationship that is marked with a physical covenant. But that means that to do it God’s way, we must first engage with the person He has for us, and then put a ring on it to commit to a lifelong pursuit and God-glorifying love for one another, and then have the physical part. The order is non-negotiable. Sex is called intimate for a reason; it is so special that God made it to be shared between husband and wife, and only for them. It is a covenant. The Hebrew word for sex, dod, also means “mingling of souls”. That’s how special it is. So how could we take what is so precious and turn it into a media craze? How could we make it so casual, so part of the social norm?
7. This is not some kind of “bonding experience."
That sound silly because it is, but it is sad how many mother-daughter duos I see that are succumbing to this together. This is not what I would call a bonding experience. It is an encouragement to each other to turn from the love God has designed for us. You know how you can be an aid in a crime? This is the same thing! Whether you are a mother and daughter, sisters, or best friends, you are first and foremost sisters in Christ and as such you should be lifting each other up! Instead, you are holding each other back!
I’m not wanting to condemn anyone for fangirling over these movies, but I do want to give you the reality of what you are submitting yourself to. I pray that God opens your eyes to what is right and true, and that you are able to turn from this.
