Pornography is not a new thing. Sexually explicit images have been around forever, and videos have been being produced since humans gained the capability to record it. However, throughout the years, porn has become more and more commonplace, and this causes several issues that affect not only relationships but peoples' cognitive behaviors.
My Personal Background on Pornography
I think pornography is weird. You're watching people - real people, somewhere in the world - have sex. And typically, in a gross, over-exaggerated fashion. It's freaking weird.
To say that I have never watched porn would be a blatant lie. As a young teenage boy just discovering the internet, it was only a matter of time before I discovered the online world of pornography. Before I knew it, I knew just about everything there possibly was to know about sex, at least in terms of how it all worked - physically. I think in the long run, it kind of messed me up.
When I eventually did become sexually active, I realized that my expectation for what was to come was not similar to what I was experiencing at all. Which was fine, but definitely required some level of adjustment. Sex was more than just a pleasure device; it was much, much more than that. It was intimate, and sharing it with someone I truly loved was an incredible experience.
Some of my friends – particularly male friends – find the fact that I do not enjoy watching pornography weird. I guess that’s somewhat understandable; pornography has become such a common thing in many of our lives.
Addiction to Pornography
Porn addiction is a real thing. Popular actor and comedian Terry Crews just recently live streamed on Facebook to open up about his addiction to pornography, and how it drastically affected his life in a negative way. If you are interested, you can still watch the video here.
Since pornographic materials are so easily accessible now in the modern world, this encourages viewers to use it more often. If you told Martin Cooper that we'd be watching nude people copulate on cell phones by 2006 I'm sure he would have given you an interesting blank stare.
Since the act of watching pornography results in rewarding and reinforcing outcomes, it can lead to an addiction or develop into a behavioral condition. You don't have to have an addiction to pornography to be affected, however. It still affects your brain - and various aspects of your life - in drastic ways.
It Creates Tension in Relationships
Relationships typically revolve around romance and some form of physical attraction between individuals. In most circumstances, this leads to sexual intercourse, codependency, and a deep emotional connection. So it is quite understandable that your sexual partner wouldn't appreciate you watching other people have sex online.
The objectification of individuals within pornography can also create unnatural and unrealistic expectations of one's partner. Since porn stimulates the arousal centers of your brain so excessively, it becomes much more difficult to simply find attraction in your significant other. This can detract from the enjoyment of sexual experiences and damage the intimacy within the relationship.
It Harms Sexual Performance
Sexual Performance is affected when someone is exposed to pornography on a regular basis. Your brain begins to associate sexual releases with images and videos - rather than with a real person - it causes you to not be as aroused - or aroused at all - when you are actually engaging in a sexual act. It makes real-life sex seem plain and boring.
When you fail to be aroused by the natural sexual senses, this destroys your libido. When your libido is down, you don't have sexual desires in the same way, and this causes you to get lazy - sexually. Real life sexual encounters - especially with a consistent partner - requires effort, especially in the region of foreplay. In porn, everything is at ludicrous speed. No real effort required.
It Completely Separates Love From Sex
Another common judgment from my male peers is my disinterest in casual sex. Again, if I said I've never had casual sex, I'd be lying. But I suppose I've done it less than 'usual' for a 24-year-old male, but it's been mostly by choice. I just don't enjoy it the same way I enjoy making love to someone I truly care about.
So this is where porn messes things up - it associates sex strictly with physical pleasure because intimacy is absent from pornography. So when intimacy is desired in a sexual environment, it can be very off-putting for some.
It Portrays Individuals As Sexual Objects, Not As People
In the world of pornography, the characters we observe are merely portrayed as objects. This never changes, no matter the amount of content within. There is elaborate pornography with full-blown character development and storylines. There is also pornography where a woman simply gets undressed and is subsequently surrounded by a hoard of men. The content varies but is ultimately the same.Sexual objectification is already is already a huge problem in the world, and pornography does not help matters in any way. The images within the content are unrealistic and paint a distorted picture of what we should view as attractive.
Closing Statements
The point I am trying to make is not to judge people who view pornography. I am not trying to put down anyone who has or has had an addiction to porn. I am just encouraging you to view the facts and understand the impact the porn industry has had on our world.
We live in a generation of desensitized sexuality. And pornography is partially responsible for this.
It is important to understand the impact pornography has on society, on your sex life, relationships, and most importantly your body and brain. It is also important that you understand that you can make a change in your life or the lives of others by educating yourself.
Instant gratification is the worst kind of gratification. Always remember that.
