I am 19 years old and my current boyfriend is the only boyfriend I've ever had. It seems strange to think that in a few short weeks I will not only be entering my sophomore year of college but also celebrating my six-month anniversary with my first boyfriend. For some people, six months may not seem like a very long time. But when you're as hesitant about dating as I am, six months seems like a major accomplishment. Though there were many times that I had no idea what I was supposed to do as someone's girlfriend, there hasn't been one time that I've regretted my inexperience with dating.

When I was in high school, which feels much longer than just a year ago, it seemed like everyone I knew was dating someone. I felt like I was the odd one out if I didn't have a boyfriend or wasn't at least "talking" to someone, which is the new word that for some reason all teenagers use even though no one actually knows what it means. But the truth is, not having a boyfriend was never really one of my biggest concerns. Of course, there were some days that not having a boyfriend sucked a little more than others, like Valentine's Day, or prom, or basically any other school dance where not having a date is like a high school girl's worst nightmare. But in the end, not dating in high school was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

Before I go into some of the other reasons why I didn't date in high school, I should start by admitting that it wasn't all my decision. Most people would probably assume I'm referring to my parents and that they had a rule that I couldn't date until a certain age or something like that. But my parents were actually supportive of my siblings and I dating in high school. My older brother had a girlfriend when he was a senior and my older sister dated throughout high school, as well. But when it came to my own dating life, it wasn't all my choice because not only did I not meet anyone I wanted to date, but no one I met wanted to date me, either. My mom used to tell me boys my age wouldn't want to date me because I was too intimidating or too hard on them. But when it came to boys and dating, she was spot on. I saw most things in black and white and I could never understand cheating or even fights that couples my age would frequently have because they all seemed pretty pointless to me. If you aren't ready to be in a committed relationship with one person, then don't be in one. If you aren't taking your boyfriend or girlfriend's feelings into account or including them in your day to day life, then why are you dating? I didn't date in high school because I didn't meet anyone that I was ready to be that committed to, and I definitely didn't meet anyone that was ready to be that committed to me.

I know some people would say that dating in high school is about discovering what you want out of a relationship and your partner, and not about commitment. But if you're dating someone to find out what you want out of a partner so you will one day know what you want in a spouse, then wouldn't you say that's a pretty big commitment? When you break it down to simple terms, dating is just one of the first steps that hopefully leads to marriage. So if you can't see yourself possibly marrying this person or at least being with them until you're old enough to consider that possibility, then why date them at all? You're essentially admitting I'm dating this person now so that one day we will break up. If you don't see the relationship going somewhere, then why even start it? I didn't want to cause myself any more heartache than I needed to, and I definitely didn't want to feel like I was just passing, or even worse, wasting my time. To say it bluntly, there was no one in my high school that I wanted to marry, so that meant there was no one I wanted to date. And I was more than OK with that.

Finally, the biggest reason I didn't date in high school was because I knew it was only temporary. High school is only four years of your life. And contrary to what some people may believe, they are not the best four years of your life. I knew that I had bigger and better things to come and that I had some big decisions to make and I didn't want any of them to be affected by the person I was dating. I was going to pick the college that I knew I'd be happy at. I didn't have to think about how close it would be to my boyfriend's school and whether or not I wanted to try long distance. I just had to think solely about me. And in my opinion, that's what high school is all about. I wasn't worried about finding out what kind of boyfriend I wanted. I wanted to spend my time discovering what kind of girlfriend I wanted to be. I focused on myself and my own personal growth, not someone else's.

When you get to college, you have to start thinking about careers, bills, and where you want to live your life. In high school, you get to just live and let someone else, also known as your parents, make those big time decisions for you. High school is your time to be selfish and to figure out who you want to be, so don't waste it. When you look back on high school, don't be proud of the people you dated or the different boys you kissed. Be proud of the person you were and how it lead to the person you're still becoming.