Why I Decided To Do The BIG Chop!

Why I Decided To Do The BIG Chop!

#teamnaturalhair
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I did it. I cut all of my hair off with no regrets... Surprisingly, I cried while it was being cut, but I'm all good now. I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I've made in my life! Here's why I cut my hair...


1.) I was "under the influence"...

It was my Junior year of high school, when one of my good friends decided to do the big chop for herself. I loved how it turned out! It wasn't a style that I was too familiar with until after seeing hers, and I was truly inspired... It only took me four years to actually cut mine. Better late than never?


2.) I felt very insecure...

After a while I got tired of looking at myself in the mirror because I looked "plain". SOMETHING needed to change.


3.) My hair was a mess!!!

I simply needed to start over. I wore hair clips from my Sophmore year of high school up until my first semester of being a Sophmore in college. A REALLY long time. The clips gave me an "excuse" to not take care of my hair as well as I should've been, and they caused a lot of damage (unwanted kinks/knotted hair). Also, I was in the process of transitioning to natural hair anyway, which left me with two separate hair textures.


4.) The fight against social standards...

I no longer wanted to be tied down to society's standards, that claim having straight hair is the ideal style for being successful (which is complete bullshit). People with naturally curly hair can be just as successful and I'm here help to prove it.


5.) Natural hair is becoming more popular!

The natural hair community is growing and it's beautiful! Everyone in the community is fully supportive and it's great. Relaxed sales have been declining over the past couple of years, and more women are staying away from harmful chemicals. Come join the natural hair community!


6.) Hot & humid days are my new best friends...

I live in Missouri, a state known for having wet air. Having wet air mixed with heat is a force stronger than Yoda's. It causes heavy humidity, and humidity and straight hair DO NOT mix well. Now that I have natural hair I no longer have to worry about it frizzing after being straightened. I can now plow through humidity with confidence.


7.) Just keep swimming...

Going to the pool was a struggle in itself! As an African American female, I found it hard to enjoy swimming. I always had to worry about tying my hair up or taking my clips out, and it just sucked the fun out. Now, I don't have to worry about what I'll have to do with my hair when diving in the pool! WOO!


8.) Natural hair requires no heat...

NO HEAT, NOT DAMAGE. What else is there to say...?


For those of you considering going natural, go for it! You may shed a couple tears at first but you will get used to it. If you don't like your natural hair it's safe to say that it'll grow back with proper care and patience. Try new things and you'll be surprised how much more confident you'll feel.


#teamnaturalhair

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

SEE ALSO: They're Not Junkies, You're Just Uneducated

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

Most of all, thank you for showing me how to turn my hurt into motivation.

I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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You Shouldn't Be Ashamed Of Your Black Hair, Don't Let Anyone Tell You Differently

Growing up in predominantly white schools changed the way I felt about myself, including embracing my hair, but other people's opinion shouldn't stop you from embracing the beauty of your culture.

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Throughout my entire life, something I struggled with was my hair, even though I never really talked about it. I had never been very confident in it, and as I started to do it on my own, I struggled with keeping it healthy and eventually had to keep cutting it short to hide how damaged it was (still is).

I was constantly straightening it and got to a point where I was relaxing it every 3-4 weeks instead of the minimum point of 2-3 months. Every time it looked frizzy in the slightest, I'd text my mom and ask if she'd be able to lather on the chemicals that night. I thought what I was doing was okay and that my hair would somehow manage to become healthy again on its own, but it took me a really long time to admit to myself that I was damaging my hair because of my own insecurities.

This is the first time I'm being completely honest about all of these thoughts.

My first encounter with negative opinions about my hair was when I was in preschool, K4 to be exact, at a predominantly white school. I don't even remember much of it myself, but my mom would tell me how I would come home crying about kids calling me names such as "poodle" and would just constantly pick on me. All because of my hair. Sure, it may not seem that much now, but I was 4 years old. So, my mom decided to relax my hair, thinking that it'd make everything better.

But here comes the third grade. I was new at school and my only close friend was the only other black girl in my class. When my hair had gotten a bit wet during a relay race on field day, a kid in my class touched it and proceeded to ask why it felt like wheat grass.

That's when I stopped letting people touch my hair.

Constantly throughout middle school, I'd get told I had "white girl hair" and black girls would thrust their hand up my scalp to feel for weave tracks. This just encouraged me to do even more damage. But during the summer in-between grades, I would get my hair braided, and friends would text me asking "Why would you get a weave?" Just a few months ago, I had friends saying "I'm glad you never get a weave. I hope you never do that to your hair." This discouraged me from taking the precautions I should have been using to keep my hair protected, its fragile state not being made for being chemically straightened but to bounce freely as natural curls.

It had been almost 5 years since the last time I have braided my hair or done any protective styling in general because these things and the negative way my "friends" talked about me for it were sticking with me, making me think it was wrong to protect my hair. But now I plan on embracing the beauty of my hair and doing whatever I want, and whatever I think is necessary to help it while looking absolutely gorgeous while doing it, no matter what these "friends" think about it.

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