While it seems like consent is a simple concept to understand, our society is still struggling to grasp it. Every 107 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted, and there is an average of 293,066 victims of rape and sexual assault each year. Eighteen percent of college students think someone has consent as long as they don't say no. Even worse, 98 percent of rapists will never spend a day in prison.
What does consent look like?
Start with communicating with your partner when the type or degree of sexual activity changes. You can use with phrases like “Is this OK?” Consent is when someone agrees, gives permission or gives an enthusiastic "yes" to sexual activity with other persons.
What isn't consent?
- Refusing to acknowledge “no.”
- Assuming that wearing certain clothes, flirting, or kissing is an invitation for anything more.
- Someone being under the legal age of consent, as defined by the state.
- Someone being incapacitated because of drugs or alcohol.
- Pressuring someone into sexual activity by using fear or intimidation.
- Assuming you have permission to engage in a sexual act because you’ve done it in the past.
- The absence of "no" is not the same thing as the presence of "yes."
Why is consent important?
Whenever you have sex, you need to make sure that your partner is just as enthusiastic about having sex. In other words, that they give their full consent. It's important that you are 100 percent sure that the person you're with is happy and willing, because non-consensual sexual activity (even kissing and touching) is actually against the law. Not only is sex without consent a crime, but being pressured or forced into a sexual situation you’re not ready for (rape/sexual assault) can do lasting emotional damage. It’s not enough to just assume someone wants sex as much as you, you really have to ask.
REMEMBER: You or your partner can change your mind at anytime. You can withdraw consent at any point if you feel uncomfortable. It’s important to clearly communicate to your partner that you are no longer comfortable with this activity and wish to stop. Coercion is not consent. Neither is silence.
Here's a handy-dandy infographic if you're confused:
And finally, If you're still unsure, this video should help you understand.
