Have you ever heard one of your close friends tell you that they may have been raped? Your friend confides in you and tells you that they went to another friend’s house at 3 a.m. They wanted to have sex but while in the middle of it they wanted to stop. They told their partner to stop.
Was it understood that they were going to have sex? Were you confused? You wonder did anyone ask for consent? Did anyone make it clear? Was anyone under the influence? Was consent retracted? Did they both understand sexual consent?
You wonder what really happened. You want to help your friend but personally you do not understand if they are informed about the proper sexual consent methods and getting a proper response from their partner.
Whether it be man or woman, "yes" means yes and "no" means no. Isn’t that quite obvious? Some vote absolutely. Others, not always. Consent is an elaborate topic, yet it is not that complicated.
Kiara James, an intern at FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture is, someone who knowledgeable about sexual consent.
“Consent is not actually that complicated, contrary to popular belief. Consent is making sure everyone involved in the sexual encounter is agreeing and understanding of what they are getting ready to or are doing.” James said.
Isn’t that simple?
However there are some who may not have basis of what that actually means.
At Morgan State University, officials have defined sexual consent in six different parts.
First, “Consent is informed, freely, and actively given and uses mutually understandable words or actions which indicate a willingness to participate in mutually agreed upon sexual activity.”
A mutually understandable word or action can be as simple as a head nod or words like “yes” or “no.”
Where the word “freely” is mentioned can better be explained next.
Second, “Consent is not effective if it results from the use of physical force, threats, intimidation, or coercion.”
Some workplaces and universities have a culture where coercion is used to gain consent. That is illegal and considered rape.
Morgan State University Deputy Title IX & EEO Coordinator Emily Ralph elaborated on cultures of coercion and how to effectively combat it.
“When someone is in a position of authority, how do you help feel comfortable ending that behavior without being retaliated against?” she said. “Do people feel safe that they can report things and that the behavior can stop?”
Ralph offered what she believe will be the best way to inform those who do not know.
“Awareness campaigns and prevention efforts in schools and workplaces can help combat that environment.” she said. “If they are aware of it then they will feel more comfortable and then they can report it. It happens everywhere.”
Third, “Consent may not be inferred from silence or passivity alone.”
That means using words or gestures is necessary.
Fourth, “A current or previous relationship is not sufficient to constitute consent.”
Therefore, acting as someone’s significant other does not grant anyone rights to sexual intercourse without proper consent. That can be given as mentioned before by a mutually understandable word or action.
Fifth, “Consent may be withdrawn at anytime, by any party.”
If at any point during sexual intercourse, someone is uncomfortable and would like to stop then it is everyone’s responsibility to stop.
Lastly, “Some of the things that can create an inability to consent include: a. Incapacitation due to the use of alcohol or drugs (illegal or prescription); b. A person’s mental or physical impairment of which the other person is aware of should reasonably have been aware; and c. unconsciousness.”
That means no one can give consent if they are under the influence of any kind, a disability prevents them to and if they are unconscious.
Definitions are clear but why do some still not get the proper consent?
“There aren’t huge studies that are done to ask offenders why they thought they could proceed [without gaining consent] that could come up with the answer. Every situation is potentially unique and there is not a lot in the literature.” Ralph said.
So there is not enough done to correctly inform people about sexual consent. However, there are efforts to help.
Recently passed in Maryland to help to prevent sexual abuse and assault is HB 72, also known as “Erin’s Law”. According to the Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault, MCASA, “Erin’s Law” will “help prevent college sexual assault by helping to educate young people about healthy relationships before they attend college.”
“Erin’s Law” will be implemented on July 1, 2016.
Efforts are being made to educate and inform but there still is not enough. The battle to continue to educate, even with descriptive definition about consent, is an uphill battle that many will continue to fight.
