“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Theodore Roosevelt
From a young age to our adult lives, we are constantly looking around at what others are doing. In school, we look at who’s considered “popular:” what they’re wearing, saying, doing, and think that if only we could do all the same things then we would be considered “popular” too. Comparison is something we all innately do, and it’s hard to notice you’re even doing it at times.
As you grow, it becomes a bit more complicated than just who’s considered “cool” and who’s not. You find out what you like to do, what your passions are, and then you look at people who do the same things you do. You compare your work to theirs, whether in school or at work, and you worry that you’re not even good at the things you thought you were good at. You even go as far as looking at the actions of your friends and family members, and wonder if you should be at the same place in life as they are.
You worry that everyone else is so good at this “growing up” thing, while you sometimes feel like you’re barely struggling through. But it’s important to remember that you don’t see peoples’ lives from behind the scenes. You see their social media of photos from fun nights out, news about internships and job offers, and posts about their new workout routine. You don’t see their nights spent in alone, their rejected applications, or their midnight Ben & Jerry’s ice cream binges.
Not everyone is going to live life at the same pace, even though society forces us to feel like we have to meet deadlines: “Get your degree by this age,” “Get married by this age,” “Have kids at this time.” Life shouldn’t be lived feeling like there is a checklist you have to complete. It should be lived doing things you enjoy, finding out what kind of mark you want to make, and doing things at your own speed, not society’s.
Give yourself room for failure and don’t be disappointed when things don’t go your way immediately. Comparing yourself to those around you will only make you feel inadequate, so only compare your present self to your past self. Look at the progress you’ve made, learn from your mistakes, and focus on what you want to do with your future. Whether that’s school, work, traveling, or a combination of two or three, whatever you choose is the decision that’s right for you, not those around you.
It’s easy to be concerned about what other people think of you, what you’re choosing to do, who you choose to let into your life, but living life the way you want to is your shot at happiness. And I think happiness trumps the thoughts of others, or the pressures of what you think you’re “supposed” to do. As cliché as it all sounds, choose the life you want. Choose not to compare. Choose joy.
