Think back to the last time you were on Facebook, Instagram, or any other form of social media. How many times while you were scrolling did you notice yourself feeling jealous, lonely, or like your life could never compare to these people in cyberspace? Personally, I try to keep myself off social media as much as possible, because inevitably, we always coming away feeling inferior.
This may not be conscious. You might be thinking “this isn’t me,” but when was the last time you looked at your life and felt perfectly content with it? When was the last time there wasn’t that one person you wished you could be more like? Or the last time you didn’t think “I wish my life was more like that?" It’s a dangerous road to go down, but at this point, most of us are so far down that path of comparison that it’s hard to turn back.
Social media is merely a Photoshop tool for our lives. People only post what they want you to see. No one is going to post about their breakup from last week or their bad grade in that really hard class. No one wants to share how much they’re struggling to fit in or how college is harder than anyone ever told them. We use social media to crop out the bad and leave only the airbrushed, filtered version of our lives. We all know we do it, but why then is it so hard for us to remember that other people are doing the exact same thing? We are constantly comparing our own unfiltered lives that only we can see to the over-edited, carefully-crafted version of the lives of those around us. How is that a fair comparison?
The answer is, it’s not. Constantly placing our lives up against those we find on social media prevents us from ever feeling content with the lives we lead. It’s unfair, unrealistic, and honestly, it’s unhealthy. How many times have you stressed yourself out over what you need to do to make your life worthy of comparison? You waste quality time with friends and family by taking pictures to post on Facebook (you have to make sure everyone knows how much “fun” you’re having!). You stare at your phone, picking the perfect filter for your Instagram picture, only to miss out on what’s really going on around you (but at least all your followers will see all your great adventures!). What are we missing by spending all of our time using our “experiences” to construct a false image that we can post online and call our “lives” to compete with everyone else? The irony is that it’s these “experiences” that we’re missing out on. You can’t truly experience something that you’ve only viewed through your camera lens.
Now, I’m not saying don’t take pictures and don’t share those pictures with your family and friends. I think it’s great to capture important moments and events in pictures. They remind us of the times we want to always remember. My point is this: pictures should capture the feelings associated with those moments, and only through truly experiencing those moments can the pictures be of any value. Be conscious of what you’re really experiencing. Are you focused on the feeling you have because you’re surrounded with people you love, or are you more concerned with what your caption should be when you post this online? These pictures you’re taking won’t mean anything in the future if you can’t connect them to what you were feeling at the time they were taken. Focus on the feeling, focus on the moment; take a couple pictures, and post them later. No need to cut into the moment now. Don’t flatter yourself; no one is checking your Facebook page every five minutes.
Lastly, learn to be content. Remind yourself that anyone’s life is going to look better than yours if all you see are the good things happening to them. Don’t expect them to present a picture of their life that is any more accurate than the one you create for yourself on social media. Know that everyone struggles, everyone has bad days, and everyone likes to cut those things out when they’re presenting themselves to the world. It’s natural, and we all do it. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you want to be. Are you the best version of yourself? This is the only fair comparison we are able to make because we know no one else like we know ourselves.
Social media can be a dangerous tool for us in the destruction of our own self-esteem. We have to be conscious and aware of the truth behind the Photoshopped lives we see online. If this is really hard for you, take a step back. Delete the Facebook app from your iPhone, log off your Instagram account. Disconnect for just a few days and see where it takes you. You may find you’re less worried about what others are doing and more present in your own life. You’ll likely realize that you’ve been missing out on a lot of those little moments and the feelings that come with them. Be a little selfish and focus on you. I guarantee it’ll do you good.
