When I left my hometown and got on a plane to California, I was so excited for the transition I was undergoing. Free from the stifling cliques and snobbish peers, I was off to a land of maturity and sociability. What I found when I got to school was anything but. Far from the cool young adults I expected, I saw the same attitudes and personalities that I had just left behind in high school. My primary complaint with college, so far, has been the high school mentality that pervades college. So if everyone came to college with the same expectation I did, where is all this coming from?
The answer, I found, was pretty complex. Even more complex was the task of defining a "high school" attitude. After asking various friends and a lot of thinking, I decided that your standard "high school" college student was a person who defines themselves by their peers, lacking social grace outside of their defined circle and isn't open to the amazing possibilities that college allows for. Before I lay into this I should be clear: I have met a wide variety of amazing people since I started school, but as a ridiculously extroverted person, I can't help but think that I could have created an even better community if these high school habits could be nipped in the bud.
In the world of high school, your social group is everything. Stuck in classes you couldn't care less about and desperately attempting to fit in, your friends are your lifeline. While this can lead to life-long friendships, it limits your range of self-expression. College is the time for exploring and finding your passion, not for looking to your friend for an identity. This is especially important when it comes to meeting new people!
In the first two weeks of college, everyone leaps to make new friends to get through the nerve-wracking transition and to build a community for themselves. It is important to remember that as a small class going through these next four years together, we should constantly be making new connections and seeking out the best in each other.
Dominican has a school full of amazing people, and these four years are going to fly by in an instant. The only way this can happen, though, is if we put our best foot forward. I have heard so many stories from my friends about getting dissed at parties from girls they don't even know, and I have personally felt how isolating this type of community can be.
Even if we only know these people in passing, we're part of the same community. If we are all going to make it through our hectic schedules and emotional crises, we need to put our best foot forward. My friends outside my social circle have proved to be the most valuable for the stressful times in my life. Although I love my dance friends, they're so connected to all the troubles I have in the department that sometimes I need a break from them. My friends outside my social circle are so disconnected from the dance world and all its troubles that whenever I can't take it all, I retreat to them. I can vent to them if I want, but most of the time it's enough to be able to relax with them and forget all about my major.
They have also introduced me to a ton of new experiences! This year marks the first time I've been to an entire school sports game, went to a club and went hiking. All of these are because of my friends, and if I hadn't put myself out there, it never would have happened. The people who stay in their confining social circles and daily plans never get to experience these amazing new activities. Sometimes it's scary to go do something outside your comfort zone, but even if you don't like it, it helps your growth as a person. You may even find a new passion that you never would have thought to explore. By shutting yourself off to the people outside your clique, you lose out on the fresh ideas and possibilities that other people provide to you.
Being "high school," in the end, only really hurts yourself. College is the last four year period where we get to truly explore and be in full control. It's an opportunity that we shouldn't waste, and those who stick to what they know are wasting it. To anyone who recognizes themselves in what I'm writing, I'll say this: our community is so much more vibrant than what you can see. It's never too late to make a new friend or try a new activity. If you embrace life as a college student, it will be repaid tenfold in friends and fun. You graduated high school already, come join us in college!
