Since I was a kid, I have struggled with anxiety and depression. It was like an evil duo that ruled my life and brought me down until it broke me. It made me never want to get out of bed, but also worry about what people would think of me if they knew how badly I was hurting. I was sad, but I was worried about how being sad was affecting me and the others around me. It was a never ending spiral that eventually led me to my lowest point, crying on my bathroom floor, reaching rock bottom.
But instead of choosing to give up and live my life at rock bottom, I chose to stand up, and make a better life for myself. It wasn’t the easy choice, but I knew that if I didn’t do it, I’d regret it my entire life. It was hard, and it definitely was ugly sometimes, but pushing through the pain to become someone new, someone, that I love, has been worth it. There hasn’t been a day since I chose to get up off that bathroom floor and change my life that I’ve regretted my decision. Each day in this new life that I chose to build for myself has been better than the next and has made me the kind of person that I would want to be friends with, and for that I am proud.
Rebuilding my life has made me stronger. It has made me realize that I can handle anything that life throws at me, even when I think that I can’t. I’ve been through some of the toughest battles, and even when I thought that there was no way possible I was making it out alive, I did every single time. It’s taught me that strength really does come from within, and if you search hard enough, you will always find it.
Rebuilding my life has taught me how to accept fear, and run with it. Life is scary, but you can’t be scared to live your life just because you may fall. No one remembers how you fell, they remember how you got back up again, and I got back up with fire in my heart, ready to conquer the world. No longer am I afraid to tell people how I feel: how much I love them and appreciate them and how sometimes I don’t like the way they are treating me. It has taught me to always stand up for myself, no matter how big or small the battle may be. I may not be able to conquer fear, but this new life allows me to look it in the eye, and show it that it no longer controls me the way it used to.
If I hadn’t of chosen to rebuild my life, I would still be the weak, broken girl that I always thought I would be. I’ve realized that I am strong and that what other people think is just an opinion, not the truth. I’ve realized that love is stronger than hate and that we can’t just burn bridges to make our problems go away, but fighting them with all the love in your heart can. I’ve realized that life is short, and that you can’t be afraid to put yourself out there and that when you’re having a bad day, a donut or some ice cream can make everything a little better for a while.
I am different now because I chose to rebuild my life and I am proud of the person I have become. I still have my rough moments and bad days, but they are a little less painful than before, all because rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built myself a strong, new, beautiful life.
