This past summer, I ended up ending my first long-term relationship. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever done, and boy, did it hurt like hell. My friends told me that someone new, someone better would come along, as if it was supposed to reassure me. Of course, being fresh out of a relationship, it wasn't reassuring.

But now, it’s been three months since the relationship ended and, like many things in life, I had to figure it out for myself. I’m better, I’m over it. My friends still call me up to go boy scouting, or try to set me up with people. And I’m still not interested in it.

There are some people that treat the end of a relationship like a shirt that’s been stained. It’s okay to be sad over it, but once the grieving is over, you have to go and get yourself a new shirt. “There’re plenty of other shirts in the store,” they say, “We’ll get you a shirt that’s even better than the last.” The only good thing about your shirt being stained is that you can get a new shirt. The stain isn’t really fixed until you get a new shirt to wear.

Relationships, of course, are nothing like clothes. But you would be amazed at the people who put that much emphasis on relationships. Being in our 20s, it’s reasonable. Relationships begin and end faster than papers get graded, and it seems like that’s all that really matters.

So among my friends and their well meant relationship advice, set ups, and offers to introduce me to someone, I feel like the odd one out asking:

“What if I don’t want a new shirt? What if I want new shoes instead? What if I don’t want anything new at all?”

The truth is, I like being single. It comes with a certain amount of freedom that I didn’t fully appreciate before my relationship of a year ended. And no, I don’t mean the type of freedom that puts me in clubs with my girls, all of us scouting for cute guys. In fact, my life as a single college student hasn’t had any of that. (But the option is always there, if I change my mind.)

I like being able to focus on my school and my career without any distractions. I like being able to hang out with any one of my friends at any given moment. When I was dating, a lot of my free time went to my significant other. That’s only to be expected though, and my S.O. and I did our own things occasionally. But I had nowhere near as much free time as I do now, and I canceled plans with my friends for Netflix dates a lot more than I’d like to admit—especially when the relationship started to go downhill.

When I was in the relationship, everything I did, I did with the best interest of my S.O. and our relationship in mind. I invested time, energy, and so much heart into it that it left me exhausted when it ended. That’s the essence of any good relationship, and even though it’s over, I don’t regret a second of it.

Now that I’m single, I have the opportunity to invest in me, first and foremost. I’m worth investing in, and I’m going to invest everything into me while I can.

The relationships around me are going to begin and end faster than papers can get graded, and any relationship I get into will be almost just the same I’m sure. For now, I’m not worried about it. I’d rather do homework or watch Netflix with my friends than spend hours looking for the next perfect shirt.