While attending a small, private Christian college in Indiana, it has come to my attention many times that when a guy and a girl seem to have a close relationship it is safe to assume that they are dating or "talking." I have had to deal with this myself since I tend to have many close friendships with both guys and girls. I am often asked if some of the girls that I hang out with are girls that I am interested in. When I say that we are just good friends, people tend to laugh or say something about me being "friend zoned." This is clearly not the case, as I go into these friendships with the intention of remaining just friends.
From a Biblical perspective, the book of Philippians that gossiping is wrong and making assumptions and spreading rumors about people is a form of gossiping. Despite these strong words, I have still experienced this. I have personally found that there are many benefits to having females as close friends. Not all of my close friends are females, as I have many close friendships with guys too. However, my friendships with females teach me many things that would not be as easily learned through my guy friendships. Considering the topic, I found it fitting to ask my BFF Amelia to sit here and help me write this article. This also helps bring a girl's perspective on how guys are also beneficial friends for girls to have.
For guys, there are many benefits to having girls as some of your closest friends. For one, guys are able to learn how to build deeper friendships on an emotional level. It doesn't take a genius to realize that girls build friendships very differently than guys do. Girls have a tendency to possess stronger emotional connections with those close to them. They share their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives with one another far more freely than most men tend to. By having girls as friends, guys are able to learn to connect in these ways and thus apply it to other friendships. Another benefit of having girls as friends comes when dealing with insecurities. Girls are wired differently than guys, are vulnerable in different ways, and tend to express their insecurities once a close friendship has been established. In my experience, I have found that after listening to these female friends in my life, I have an all around better understanding of how to support and encourage all of my friends; regardless of their particular struggle. Yet another perk of having girls as friends is that it teaches you helpful traits that can carry over into marriage one day. Simply put, you learn more about females in all areas. You learn more about how they are wired, the various ways they communicate, and the unique things that make them feel valued and appreciated that are not the same for men.
In that same vein, there are also many ways in which girls are blessed by having guy friends. One of those benefits is the security and loyalty that guy friends tend to offer. Guys are typically loyal and protective to those they care about, especially in regards to females. That being said, having guys as friends allows girls to feel like someone has their back and will support them no matter what. Another perk for girls having guys as friends comes in when dealing with intra-personal conflicts. Guys tend to offer more level-headed perspectives on situations. This contrast allows for girl's more emotional tendencies to be balanced out in a beneficial way. From Amelia's perspective, she shared that having guys to talk circumstances over with has helped her to solve conflicts quicker and in more mature ways. Just as guys are able to learn tools for marriage through friendships with girls, girls are able to do the same. Connecting with guys on a platonic level allows for girls to learn more about how they are wired, the various ways they communicate, and the unique things that make them feel valued and appreciated that are not the same for women.
When it comes down to it, there is more to life than dating, engagement, marriage. Having friends is important, especially friends of the opposite gender. There are so many things to learn and ways to grow, particularly in guy/girl friendships. The Bible calls us to view the guys and gals around us as our brothers and sisters in Christ. We are called to have unity and sanctifying relationships with those who are in Christ. While there are always negative aspects to any type of relationship, the benefits of having platonic relationships outweigh any of the downsides.
ps- Thank you to Amelia for sharing her perspectives and experiences in this topic. <3
