I happen to be one of those people who flits from social-group to social-group without much trouble, I like people! However, I find that it is much easier to become friends with men than with women. You'd think that connecting with my own gender would be easier, but it's not. For some reason, when I see a group of guys, I find it very easy to approach them and the friendships I create are very easygoing.
On the other hand, when I see a group of women or even one woman, I'm intimidated and immediately look for an excuse to walk the other way to avoid all contact. As someone who loves people, this frustrates me to no end. I know there are many other women who feel this way too. So, let's go over why it's so much easier to befriend men than women.
1. First Impressions
I feel like men and women pay attention to very different things when it comes to first impressions. With men, I feel as though as long as you're not a tool, you're cool in their book. With women, on the other hand, I feel like my outfit, hair, makeup, how I carry myself, bag, friends, boyfriend, family, job, my knowledge on current issues are analyzed and judged. It's enough to make anyone anxious, and it makes me want to go back to the comfort of my guy friends in their man-cave.
2. Communication
It's no secret that men and women communicate differently. Women tend to communicate on several levels: there's the verbal dialogue, the subtext, the avoided conversation, the conversation of tone and body language. In my opinion, that's way too much to worry about at one time. I find it hard to talk about what's at hand, let alone pay attention to my body language and tone. I can't imagine worrying about subtext or anything else either. I think this is a big reason I find getting to know women intimidating. I am terrified that I will mess up in some way, either my tone will sound bitchy or I'll say the wrong thing. It's safer not to say anything at all.
3. Women Judge My Interests More Often
I'm not going to lie, I love video games and I probably spend more time than I should playing them. However, very few of my female friends, or potential-female friends know about this hobby. The Corri they know is the one who loves fashion, makeup and all things beauty! Which isn't a lie, I do love those things. But I also love pwning noobs in some good ole fashions vidya games! Yet, I feel as though I can't share that with other women. I'm not sure if this is because they are against it or because video games are gender stereotyped toward men.
All that being said, I am incredibly lucky to have some wonderful women in my life. With these ladies it was hardly a struggle to become fast friends, so I'm glad I was able to get over my initial fears and befriend them all. However, even with all of these awesome ladies, the thought of making more female friends continues to make me anxious. Though part of this is my personal bias against women, in addition to stereotyping, some of my experiences with women have been less than pleasant.
