Congratulations to all of you who have a best friend. I don’t. I don’t say this hoping to make you feel sorry for me because, honestly, I am very happy about it. 

I wonder about you people, the ones who have a best friend. Not that I think anything is wrong with you. Nor do I think that I am any better than you. I just wonder, why do you want to publicly quantify your relationship with a particular friend?

Perhaps you wonder about me, too. I may be somewhat of an anomaly, since I do not want to claim a person I connect with as my favorite friend. The reason I choose not to, is because I think that friendships should be an extension of my happiness, but not the reason for it. I cannot say I have a best friend when I have a lot of people in my life who make me happy -- they are all great friends.

I understand that, for some people, a best friend is the one who is the additional sibling someone forgot to give you, or they are that person you have known your entire life. Why wouldn’t you want more than one of those?      

The part I have the most trouble with is that best friend is a label that is exclusive, and I don’t like exclusivity in friendships. I don’t like third-wheeling in friendships. I don’t like feeling like two is a crowd, but you are the third -- still there. It makes friendships uncomfortable. I hate being at the table with the best friend pair that tells inside jokes when you are trying to get to know them better. I hate when you think you are important in someone’s life, but then they comment that some other person is their favorite. I hate sitting at the table wondering why I am there when you chime comments about intimate topics which I have no idea about. To that behavior, I ask why?  

When you insinuate that some other friend, who makes your life more positive, is not the “best,” you are belittling the friendship of the other person you haven’t named your best friend. It’s the labeling problem, really. Similar to the one many tried to escape after high school. It’s usually unintentional, but it makes other feel bad. And, I don’t want the people that make me smile feeling such a way.       

If you are a friend of mine, thank you for being just that. You are important. I hope that when we spend time together, you have felt like that way -- because it is true. You, my friends, enrich my life. For that reason, I will never quantify our relationship at the expense of another.