If you Google search the definition of the word selfish, this is exactly what you find: lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure. This definition brings out the ugly sides of being selfish. What person would truly want to be known as someone who "lacks consideration for others" or is "concerned chiefly with one's own profit or pleasure"?
No one.
Yet, being selfish can sometimes be the best thing you can ever be.
Have you ever taken a survey that has asked you to "circle or underline some of the words/phrases below that describe your positive attributes"? Most often the words you can pick from are ones such as considerate, generous, kind, trustworthy, hardworking, happy, etc. Then you are asked to "circle or underline some of the words/phrases below that describe your areas of weakness." Words in this list might include: doesn't like to work in groups, tired, likes to be in control, too focused on work, selfish. My question is: why does society so often associate independence and going after what you want with negativity and an undesirable thing to be? If you ask me, being selfish can be the best thing you ever do in your life.
Now, clearly I'm not saying to never give your money to charity, never offer your services to anyone in need, or don't donate your time, as those are all things we can do to just be better humans. I'm talking about the little parts of your life that you constantly give to others in fear of being viewed as a selfish or inconsiderate person. Why do people stay in jobs they hate? Why do people continue to attend a school that they don't truly like? Why do women so often settle for men who don't put in the time to show them they are valued? Why do people hesitate when following their passion, their dream, or the desire of their heart?
Yes, there could be logistical reasons as to why at one time or another following your heart isn't the best thing to do. But life is just truly too short to not be selfish every once in a while.
Recently, I was faced with one of the biggest decisions of my life. A lot of what held me back initially was worrying about what other people would think. I worried that people would be disappointed in me, would look down on my decision, that they would call me a quitter. One day I woke up and realized that I needed to do this for myself. I needed to stop being so concerned with what my friends would think, what my family would think, what my boyfriend would think. Because, honestly, I'm the only person who truly knew how unhappy I was. Making the decision to quit something that had been such a big part of my life for the past ten years was extremely hard and kept me tossing and turning many nights.
But I am so glad I was selfish.
Being selfish can sometimes mean that you care about yourself so much that you're going to follow what your heart is telling you to. While being selfless and generous can be a great characteristic to have, it is also dangerous to too often live your life for others. You deserve this. You deserve your extra quiet time, you deserve that extra time with your hobby, you deserve to put yourself first. Being selfish doesn't always have to be such a negative thing.
The message at the end of this is to be a little selfish and go after what you want. Life is too short and time is too precious to stay in your comfort zone forever. Maybe the first step is carving out an hour every day from your busy life to go to the gym and sweat your stress away. Maybe the first step is to realize you deserve better for yourself in your relationships. Maybe the first step is to step back from a few of your many activities in order to make more time for your family. Whatever it is, get out there and do it! I promise you you will not regret it.
