When I was younger, I never considered myself to be "quiet." I always got in trouble for talking too much during class and was always fairly outgoing as a kid. As time wore on and I got older, I became quieter. Maybe I ~matured~ from the chatty little twerp of days past, or maybe I realized that I enjoyed listening more than I enjoyed talking. And, I really didn't have much to say. If I had something important to say, I made sure that my opinion was voiced.
I was at work once when a coworker compared me to another intern in the same department. He said, "Why don't you be more like Sarah? You don't really talk. You're very different..." His voice trailed away as he looked for my response. Ah, I knew where he was going with this.
Excuse me????
Why don't I be more like someone else? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of individuality? My coworker is as bubbly and talkative as all get-out, something I'm not like. Regardless, it's a little rude to be picking on someone's character traits and asking them to change.
I don't know, I'm just here to do my job...
I said in reply to Mr. Rudepants, who was probably only trying to make conversation but ended up making me feel bad instead (and ended up making his way to the top of my sh*t list). My job doesn't really involve talking up a storm with different types of people, so I figured I would be myself. Being outgoing is too tiring, anyway. I was just there to do my job, intent on my tasks at hand. Honestly, it didn't really occur to me to start some deep conversation with this dude, asking about his life story. Not to mention I am a lowly intern, surrounded by people 10-20 years my senior. I wanted to listen and absorb all the information I could. Acting like a Chatty Kathy just isn't in my blood. Back to the situation at hand.
AM I too quiet?
Oh god, here I was at work, deep in the middle of something to do, having an existential crisis.
Do these people think I'm stupid just because I'm quieter? Do they hate me or something? OH GOD. Maybe I should ask this guy about his family... Nah, he hates me already. Well, maybe I should speak up from now on? But I don't have anything to say, especially to this idiot.
After texting my roommate and friend about "this guy who was being SUCH a prick at work today" *10 angry emojis*, I calmed myself down.
Ok, let's be rational about this. Let's think of your good qualities. Sure, you're not Miss Talkative, but you're good at your job and are very polite. They probably don't hate you. You ask questions and chat when you need to, but aren't overbearing. You're good. Deep breath.
I looked up from my laptop, and did a sweeping view around the room. Mr. Rudepants was sitting across from me, clearly not doing anything, talking to someone else. Ugh. Meanwhile, I was still in crisis mode.
Then, I came to a realization. Being quiet isn't bad! Why am I having an existential crisis over this? There are starving children in the world and I'm worried about some guy who picked on me because I'm quiet?! Get yourself together.
What Mr. Rudepants failed to recognize is that being a quiet person isn't bad. I'm neither introverted nor extroverted, but that's not a bad thing! Our culture tends to look down upon those who are quieter, attributing success, especially in a work environment, to those who are loud and opinionated. But what about being quiet? This means that I listen better in social situations, and (normally) think before I speak. Not too bad, right? I save my enthusiasm and chattiness for people I love and care about... And this guy isn't one of them.
