As anyone can tell you relationships are hard. You are trying to mesh two different people together and there is going to be arguments and misunderstandings as you try to figure out each other out. However, there is one thing that can cause a lot of problems in a relationship and that is when one or both of the people in the relationship are insecure. Being insecure sucks and being insecure while being in a relationship is the worse. Oh my gosh the amount of second-guessing that happens can drive anyone crazy, but you cannot help your insecurities. And this is very true for me.
In my relationship I tend to be the more insecure one and it is well awful. I have always felt inferior to my siblings and my various family. I never felt like I was good enough, smart enough, pretty, artistic, and the list could go on. I just feel as if I am lacking compared to others and my insecurity makes me second guess everything. And of course, that includes second guessing in my relationship.
I second guess my actions, my words, whether or not he really loves me, why he loves me, will he cheat on me, why is he even with me, and it goes on and on. My insecurities cause a lot of problems between me and my fiance. It is hard to be in a relationship with someone who is always second guessing your relationship and the things you say or do not say. Now add in a long distance relationship to that and you have a recipe for disaster.
We have had long discussions and tiny arguments about me or him not believing one another when we are complimented or when we said we loved one another. Which is totally understandable since that is an awful feeling to know that the woman or man you love does not believe that you do love them. Or they do not believe you when you compliment them on anything. It can make you frustrated and I totally understand that, but it is not easier either on the person who is insecure.
We know that you love us or that you really mean the compliments you give us, but there is the constant voice in our head that tells us we are not loved or we really are not the things you compliment us on. And that voice came from any of the times someone told us we were not good enough or when they compared us to someone. For me, it was constantly being compared to my siblings and everyone praising them then turning to me and expecting me to be able to do the same things as them, but then being disappointed when it turns out I was not like them.
And so when he tells me he loves me or when he compliments me that voice and the thoughts of comparison to my siblings or someone else is prettier or better come to me and they are hard to shut off. Yet, there is something that he does that always helps me out.
He never gives up on me and constantly reassures me he does love me. He is always complimenting me and when I try or start to deny it he will not listen to my denials, but keep stating the compliments as a fact. He will get frustrated, but he still does not give up and he tries his best to make my insecurities go away. And the funny thing is they are starting to go away.
They are still there, but lately they have been disappearing and I know his patience with me has been helping and I can never thank him enough for being there for me and helping me with my insecurities.
Having insecurities in a relationship is hard, but when you have someone who is willing to help you through them and who does not give up on you, they become a little easier.
