A lot of individuals imagine that being a creative person happens to be stress-free, but occasionally creativeness isn’t there when needed, and what are they supposed to do in the meantime? So, yes. Being a creative person isn’t stress-free at all, especially being part of the millennial generation. Nowadays, everything verges to be competitive, previously done, or not creative enough. I tend to call myself an artist from time to time, but am I an artist? Sometimes, I enjoy creating content, and sometimes I don’t enjoy creating anything at all. Therefore, it comes to my question that I’ve been wondering for a while now. Am I an artist? And why do I feel frustrated every time I create something? Maybe these questions will never be answered owed to my mind. My mind can be creative sometimes, it can also go to darks places as well, and that's when it’s not a fun place to go. Furthermore, it makes me despise myself sometimes. I know, it’s not a decent thing to say to myself, but I can’t deny it. The damage has been done already.
When I started college, no one asked me what my major was going to be. Therefore, I picked anything that interested me, and graphic design seemed the best choice during that time. Yet, I was another clueless college girl not knowing what to study. After my first semester in community college, graphic design was my worst enemy. Second semester came around, and still clueless. The anxiety hit me pretty bad. Not only that happened, but I couldn't manage to concentrate in all my courses. I never thought being an artist was difficult, and no one ever told me it was going to be this difficult. I’m always afraid to create anything. Owing to the fact, what other people might think, maybe I’m just afraid to embrace it, or scared to show people who I am as an artist. Many of my professors told me to "relax more, have more fun with your projects and don't take everything so serious." Which made me realize, becoming a graphic designer wasn't going to be easy at all. In addition, during my sophomore year, I made a huge decision not to become a graphic designer; which made it even harder for me to find what my passion was. College is when we have to find ourselves, but never thought it was going to be this hard. Life is tough.
Sometimes, I can't sleep during the night because of my anxiety. Hopefully, many college students don't feel the same way. It sucks. I’ve Googled many times what should I do with my life, how to find my passion — and I know it sounds pathetic. In addition, I'm learning how to become a better person –– learning how to cope all these emotions. Yet I still tend not to learn how to. We are living in a society where everything is being criticized or seen by anyone. Pretty scary. Additionally, we shouldn't care how they're going to react, as long as we're happy with the content created everything should be fine. Jim Carrey, a comedian genius, gave a speech at the Maharishi 2014 commencement ceremony, and he said that "Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you." In conclusion, I’m just another youngster who just entered her early 20s, learning how to cope all these emotions, and figuring things out. I guess everything will be fine! Maybe I don't want to define myself as an "artist" anymore.
