Why Bad Relationships Are Important

Why Bad Relationships Are Important

I can't think of this afalkhgflakgslk

You meet someone who you connect with instantly. You spend days on end talking for hours and hours. Conversations range from your favorite color to your deepest and darkest secrets back to whether or not you like ketchup on your macaroni and cheese. After waking up to them and falling asleep with them every day, you start to develop feelings so you get to know them better, on a more personal level. You find they're your definition of perfect and fall in love with them as they fall in love with you - or so you thought.

For the first few weeks or months you're dating, they're amazing. You love spending time with them and going on dates almost as much as you love their presence. You begin to want them around so much you find yourself addicted. But wait...they're changing. They communicate with you less, they hide things from you, they seem less interested in spending time together. You let all of this slide, though, because they lead you to believe you're just overreacting. You shake it off, but you still have a gut feeling that something just isn't right.

More time goes on, and the fights have become more frequent. When you're in sync, you're high. On the other hand, when you're fighting, you've crashed. You find yourself having to apologize more and more often even though you know you're not the one who started the argument. When you confront them about the relationship's poor state, they swear up and down that they're going to try and change because they know you deserve better. Every time, you give them the benefit of the doubt. Honestly. things really aren't that bad for a couple weeks, but things went back to how they were. The cycle repeats itself but you find yourself trapped because you love them so much and you want them to be better.

You find every person your boo talks to has become a threat and all trust is gone. They've lied to you and hid so much from you that you simply can't trust them with the opposite gender. With no trust, where is there a relationship? No trust is a good gateway to more fights. Every point you have is thrown back at you or contorted so that YOU'RE the one who's wrong. But you know better.

They leave, they come back, they can't find anyone else, they tell you how much they miss you and love you, they tell you how they can't live without you, you fall for it, the cycle starts over again. It's a never-ending circle of pain and agony, but you find the strength to break it.

Slowly but surely, you grow away from this person you once wanted to marry. You know your heart is breaking every time you tell them that you can't be in their life. You know while you tell them it's best you go your separate ways, you want nothing more than to run into their arms and hear them say everything is going to be just fine. With each time you resist their attempts to suck you back in to your toxic relationship, you grow a little bit stronger. They get mad at you and insult you so you feel as low as they do, but you've heard it so much that it doesn't even affect you anymore.

You get away from them - it hurts for a while and you miss them dearly, but you grow. You get stronger and reflect on the lessons you've learned. Truth be told, you needed this. Heartbreak is important because it'll help you develop a better idea of what a good relationship is supposed to be. It'll help you realize what love is actually supposed to feel like. Though you've been left with scars, you'll also be left with wisdom. You'll know what signs could indicate red flags, and you'll know when a relationship truly is worth fighting for.

We need pain to grow stronger. We need sadness to feel happiness. In this world, nothing is more important than balance.

"So feel the fire beneath your feet as you barely even perspire
From the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell"

- Eminem

Cover Image Credit: QuotesGram

Popular Right Now

To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

An Open Letter To The People I Decided To Stop Fighting For

"Stop begging and fighting for people to love you the right way. Stop investing time in people who don't mind if you stay or leave." — Reyna Biddy


To the people I decided to stop fighting for,

It's not you, it's me. It's me who made the choice to put your needs above mine for longer than I should have. It's me who let myself be involved in an endless cycle of giving, without taking. It's me who continues to see the best in people even when shown a million reasons to take off the goggles-- to not float back down to Earth, back to reality. But to crash into pieces of what was once a flawless facade.

But it's you who were never going to change.

You were never going to see all the ways you hurt me, and I was never going to force you to. Just as you failed to understand, I failed to tell you there were repercussions... because there weren't.

I am a kind person, and I will not stop being kind. I am a compassionate person, and I will not stop being compassionate. I will, however, stop letting my kindness and compassion act as a gateway for mistreatment, for not second chances but third and fourth and fifth chances. Chances that you never asked for, but that I gave you anyways.

I have to walk away from the one-sidedness, from the excuses that I handed you on a silver platter. I let you walk all over me, and I even shined your shoes in the process. I am done using amazing memories as a means of masking toxicity with a happy past. The thing about memories is that they're used to reminisce about the previous, but I used them to excuse the things that you do in the present.

You were never going to stop making me feel small when all I'd do is try to lift you up. I suppose the more you let someone treat you as though you're small, the more they believe it is OK to do this, it is OK to belittle you. But it was never OK, and that's on me. It was me who'd tell you the ways you had hurt me, only to have you repeat them over and over again without consequence. And it was me who was fine with this.

I am without anger, without frustration, and without sadness.

I feel nothing but love for you, but I must also love myself enough to stop fighting and to let go of things not meant for me, things that no longer bring me joy and peace in my life.

Now I am exhausted, far too tired to fight for people who judge instead of love, who bicker instead of trying to understand. Because you weren't going to change. You won't change. And that's OK, that I've made peace with. But I have to change — I have to stand up for myself, and I have to walk away.

So I lay down my armor and I throw up my shield because it's time to start protecting myself, to start fighting for me.

Related Content

Facebook Comments