Why Bad Relationships Are Important

Why Bad Relationships Are Important

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You meet someone who you connect with instantly. You spend days on end talking for hours and hours. Conversations range from your favorite color to your deepest and darkest secrets back to whether or not you like ketchup on your macaroni and cheese. After waking up to them and falling asleep with them every day, you start to develop feelings so you get to know them better, on a more personal level. You find they're your definition of perfect and fall in love with them as they fall in love with you - or so you thought.

For the first few weeks or months you're dating, they're amazing. You love spending time with them and going on dates almost as much as you love their presence. You begin to want them around so much you find yourself addicted. But wait...they're changing. They communicate with you less, they hide things from you, they seem less interested in spending time together. You let all of this slide, though, because they lead you to believe you're just overreacting. You shake it off, but you still have a gut feeling that something just isn't right.

More time goes on, and the fights have become more frequent. When you're in sync, you're high. On the other hand, when you're fighting, you've crashed. You find yourself having to apologize more and more often even though you know you're not the one who started the argument. When you confront them about the relationship's poor state, they swear up and down that they're going to try and change because they know you deserve better. Every time, you give them the benefit of the doubt. Honestly. things really aren't that bad for a couple weeks, but things went back to how they were. The cycle repeats itself but you find yourself trapped because you love them so much and you want them to be better.

You find every person your boo talks to has become a threat and all trust is gone. They've lied to you and hid so much from you that you simply can't trust them with the opposite gender. With no trust, where is there a relationship? No trust is a good gateway to more fights. Every point you have is thrown back at you or contorted so that YOU'RE the one who's wrong. But you know better.

They leave, they come back, they can't find anyone else, they tell you how much they miss you and love you, they tell you how they can't live without you, you fall for it, the cycle starts over again. It's a never-ending circle of pain and agony, but you find the strength to break it.

Slowly but surely, you grow away from this person you once wanted to marry. You know your heart is breaking every time you tell them that you can't be in their life. You know while you tell them it's best you go your separate ways, you want nothing more than to run into their arms and hear them say everything is going to be just fine. With each time you resist their attempts to suck you back in to your toxic relationship, you grow a little bit stronger. They get mad at you and insult you so you feel as low as they do, but you've heard it so much that it doesn't even affect you anymore.

You get away from them - it hurts for a while and you miss them dearly, but you grow. You get stronger and reflect on the lessons you've learned. Truth be told, you needed this. Heartbreak is important because it'll help you develop a better idea of what a good relationship is supposed to be. It'll help you realize what love is actually supposed to feel like. Though you've been left with scars, you'll also be left with wisdom. You'll know what signs could indicate red flags, and you'll know when a relationship truly is worth fighting for.

We need pain to grow stronger. We need sadness to feel happiness. In this world, nothing is more important than balance.

"So feel the fire beneath your feet as you barely even perspire
From the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell"




- Eminem

Cover Image Credit: QuotesGram

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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27 Things To Do Instead Of Texting Your Ex

I know you want to text him or her... but here are several BETTER things to do with your time.

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Heartbreak sucks, being bored sucks, being lonely sucks... yet, these are not reasons to text your ex! Instead, here are things to do instead of texting your ex.

1. Try doing yoga.

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There's no better way to relax and still feel like you're getting exercise at the same time. Yoga is great for so many things and can definitely help will all of the stress that your ex probably caused. Brett Larkin has some amazing yoga for beginners on Youtube!

2. Delete social media for the day. 

Seeing their posts all over your feed prompts the idea that they want to hear from you. It's a lie. Just take a break from it all and do something more productive.

3. Go somewhere new! 

Sometimes exploring can be a lot of fun. Exploring by yourself is even more fun since you can fully discover who you are alone. Or, bring your roommates along too!!

4. Dye your hair. 

I know there's so many cliché posts about this, but you'll feel like a new person. {Your ex's name} who?

5. Go for a run.

If you're into that sort of thing...

6. TREAT YOURSELF. 

If you're a girl, go get your nails done, get a massage, take a hot bath, use a bath bomb, etcetera... If you're a guy, I'm not sure what to tell you. Go get some ice cream maybe? Do guys like ice cream still?

7. Start a Pinterest board of all your favorite things. 

This might be really girly, but it's so important to constantly be reminded of things that bring you Joy. If you're more into crafts, do this with a poster board and cut out things from magazines.

8. Print new pictures. 

If every single picture that you have in your room includes your ex, it's time to take them down, Go to the store and print out new photos of you and your super cool friends doing things!

9. Do a cartwheel in every store within a 5-mile radius.

Spice up your life a little, do cartwheels.

10. Write a happy song. 

If you're into the whole music scene, write a happy song and perform it for all of your adoring fans on your Snapchat. Or just sing it inside your room. It's up to you!

11. Go to Build-A-Bear. 

I don't care if you're 12 or 23. Build-A-Bear is a place for all ages to recieve happy bears and someone to snuggle with. BOOM- I just solved your lonely problem.

12. Call a friend. 

Some of my best advice is that whenever you feel like texting your ex, pick another friend and call them. I had a designated friend that I would text each time I felt like texting someone I wasn't supposed to, and it worked out perfectly.

13. Read. 

I'm sure you didn't have a lot of downtime before, but now you do! Go to Half Price Books and pick out something for yourself!

14. Watch a new Netflix/Hulu/ Amazon Prime Series. 

A virtual adventure! How cool does that sound?

15. Go shopping.

Retail therapy. Am I right, ladies?

16. Write a love letter to yourself. 

Hype YOURSELF up. You are awesome and deserving of love!!

17. Take a nap. 

You can't text if you're sleeping, right?

18. Create a blog. 

Aside from this blog, I do in fact have another one. If you need a place to vent on the internet, this is the perfect thing for you!

19. Post affirmations EVERYWHERE. 

If you need to pick yourself up, write all over your mirror what YOU need to hear every single day. My favorites are:

"I am loved"

"I am beautiful"

"I don't need anyone to be my happiness"

20. Compliment everyone that you know. 

Sending a quick text to everyone (minus your ex) with a sweet compliment will help you to feel better & keep your mind away from them.

21. Take yourself on a date. 

This might fall under "treat yourself", but honestly go out and do something that you enjoy by yourself. It's liberating to not worry about anyone else for a change.

22. Create a challenge for yourself. 

Ladies, try going 30 days without makeup, or 30 days drinking a certain amount of water. It's 2019. Better yourself!

Men, try going 30 days without a cheeseburger or your favorite fast food. Also, drink water. Make a plan to workout every day. Or, challenge yourself to compliment everyone you pass. It's 2019 which means it's time to be gentlemen and not be bitter over a past relationship.

23. Buy a fish. 

That way, you now have a pet to distract you. Mine is named Squirt.

24. Cook a delicious meal.  

One of the most rewarding things is making a fantastic meal and being extremely satisfied afterwards.

25. Clean. 

The best way to keep busy is finally deciding to tackle the garage or your closet that you've been putting off for months. Clean everything that you can and de-clutter your life.

26. Have a slumber party with friends.

Also, this has nothing to do with your age or gender. Plan the best dang slumber party that you can. Even make a pinterest board for it. If you're 21+ this party can include some wine!

27. Create a goal board. 

Since they're gone, what do you want to do with your life? Goal boards are a cheap and fun way to feel like you have your life together.

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