Why Bad Relationships Are Important

Why Bad Relationships Are Important

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You meet someone who you connect with instantly. You spend days on end talking for hours and hours. Conversations range from your favorite color to your deepest and darkest secrets back to whether or not you like ketchup on your macaroni and cheese. After waking up to them and falling asleep with them every day, you start to develop feelings so you get to know them better, on a more personal level. You find they're your definition of perfect and fall in love with them as they fall in love with you - or so you thought.

For the first few weeks or months you're dating, they're amazing. You love spending time with them and going on dates almost as much as you love their presence. You begin to want them around so much you find yourself addicted. But wait...they're changing. They communicate with you less, they hide things from you, they seem less interested in spending time together. You let all of this slide, though, because they lead you to believe you're just overreacting. You shake it off, but you still have a gut feeling that something just isn't right.

More time goes on, and the fights have become more frequent. When you're in sync, you're high. On the other hand, when you're fighting, you've crashed. You find yourself having to apologize more and more often even though you know you're not the one who started the argument. When you confront them about the relationship's poor state, they swear up and down that they're going to try and change because they know you deserve better. Every time, you give them the benefit of the doubt. Honestly. things really aren't that bad for a couple weeks, but things went back to how they were. The cycle repeats itself but you find yourself trapped because you love them so much and you want them to be better.

You find every person your boo talks to has become a threat and all trust is gone. They've lied to you and hid so much from you that you simply can't trust them with the opposite gender. With no trust, where is there a relationship? No trust is a good gateway to more fights. Every point you have is thrown back at you or contorted so that YOU'RE the one who's wrong. But you know better.

They leave, they come back, they can't find anyone else, they tell you how much they miss you and love you, they tell you how they can't live without you, you fall for it, the cycle starts over again. It's a never-ending circle of pain and agony, but you find the strength to break it.

Slowly but surely, you grow away from this person you once wanted to marry. You know your heart is breaking every time you tell them that you can't be in their life. You know while you tell them it's best you go your separate ways, you want nothing more than to run into their arms and hear them say everything is going to be just fine. With each time you resist their attempts to suck you back in to your toxic relationship, you grow a little bit stronger. They get mad at you and insult you so you feel as low as they do, but you've heard it so much that it doesn't even affect you anymore.

You get away from them - it hurts for a while and you miss them dearly, but you grow. You get stronger and reflect on the lessons you've learned. Truth be told, you needed this. Heartbreak is important because it'll help you develop a better idea of what a good relationship is supposed to be. It'll help you realize what love is actually supposed to feel like. Though you've been left with scars, you'll also be left with wisdom. You'll know what signs could indicate red flags, and you'll know when a relationship truly is worth fighting for.

We need pain to grow stronger. We need sadness to feel happiness. In this world, nothing is more important than balance.

"So feel the fire beneath your feet as you barely even perspire
From the heat
Exhale deep and breathe a sigh of relief
And as you say goodbye to the grief
It's like watching the walls melt in your prison cell
But you've extinguished this living hell"

- Eminem

Cover Image Credit: QuotesGram

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How I'm Dealing With A Breakup, Told By My Playlist

The best sad songs.


It hasn't been very long since we went our separate ways and this subject is still a very sore one. But somehow, after losing my best friend, I am making it through. These songs are either something that sticks out because the words are something that I feel or just make me cry more(it's called healing people!!) Overall, these tunes are great and worth the listen for anyone.

1. I Fall Apart by Post Malone

The feeling of never being able to recover or come back after a loss like this. This song makes me think about the fact that you have to fall apart to build yourself back up and better than ever. This song meant nothing, in a serious way, until this breakup. These lyrics represent all of the feelings I have had at one point or another through this breakup.

2. Die From A Broken Heart by Maddie and Tae

This song represents how I am making it through these weeks. My mom is my rock through everything especially in a time like this. And my dad is the type to want to make things "right" with the boy who broke my heart. Is my heart really broken? No, but I was stunned at the idea of him leaving me so easily, making this song hit close to home.

3. Preach by John Legend

This song helps to remind me that changes need to be made before much of anything can happen. There is no point in going back to him when I am still the same way and he is too. The deep emotion also portrayed in this song is something that I identified with and felt connected by.

4. 1 Sided Love by Blackbear

This one is pretty literal. It truly was a one-sided love that we had and I hope to find someone in the future who gives me what I give to them. College boys aren't ready for the kind of love that I am looking for and I have decided there's no point in wasting my time when the "right one" is most likely not even ready to meet me yet.

5. Changed My Mind by Tove Stryke

Our love had always been a rollercoaster ride of yes and no. We were never really sure about each other until I was. I gave all that I possibly could once I decided he was what I wanted, but it wasn't enough.

All of these songs are amazing and each spoke a different message that I either related to or found noteworthy. They can be applied to most situations, self-love, breakups and friend breakups. I am thankful for the support system that has also gotten me through this.

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